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theonion:WASHINGTON—With yesterday’s dismissal of former FBI director James Comey serving as yet ano
theonion:WASHINGTON—With yesterday’s dismissal of former FBI director James Comey serving as yet ano
theonion:World’s Oldest Woman Just Pleased Every Other Human On Earth When She Was Born Now Dead &ld
theonion:World’s Oldest Woman Just Pleased Every Other Human On Earth When She Was Born Now Dead &ld
theonion:Family Without Candy Sits Huddled In Darkened House Like Londoners During The Blitz
theonion:Family Without Candy Sits Huddled In Darkened House Like Londoners During The Blitz
theonion:Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure
theonion:Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure
theonion:For more exemplary journalism, visit theonion.com.
theonion:For more exemplary journalism, visit theonion.com.
theonion:‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method 
theonion:‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method 
theonion:Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime
theonion:Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime
theonion:Nation Wondering Why Struggling Mental Health System Can’t Just Pull Itself Together
theonion:Nation Wondering Why Struggling Mental Health System Can’t Just Pull Itself Together
iamianbrooks:theonion:Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They
iamianbrooks:theonion:Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They
theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
theonion:U.S. Funneling Arms To Dissident Angel Group In Effort To Topple GodTHE HEAVENS—Blowing the
theonion:U.S. Funneling Arms To Dissident Angel Group In Effort To Topple GodTHE HEAVENS—Blowing the
theonion:‘This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,’ Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, R
theonion:‘This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,’ Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, R
theonion:Burger King Proposes Teaming With McDonald’s To Sell ‘McWhopper’ What do you think?
theonion:Burger King Proposes Teaming With McDonald’s To Sell ‘McWhopper’ What do you think?
theonion:Sleeping Man Flanked By Laptop, Phone, Earbuds Like Egyptian Pharaoh Buried With All His Tr
theonion:Sleeping Man Flanked By Laptop, Phone, Earbuds Like Egyptian Pharaoh Buried With All His Tr
theonion:PROSLifts workers out of poverty to brink of povertyOne less thing to feel shitty about whe
theonion:PROSLifts workers out of poverty to brink of povertyOne less thing to feel shitty about whe
theonion:Editorial Cartoon: ‘All Hallows’ Peeve’ 
theonion:Editorial Cartoon: ‘All Hallows’ Peeve’ 
troyesivan:theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happenssometimes
troyesivan:theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happenssometimes
theonion:Mariana Trench Once Again Named Worst Place To Raise Child
theonion:Mariana Trench Once Again Named Worst Place To Raise Child
theonion:Nation’s Historians Warn The Past Is Expanding At Alarming Rate 
theonion:Nation’s Historians Warn The Past Is Expanding At Alarming Rate 
theonion:Campbells Unveils One Big Can-Sized Noodle
theonion:Campbells Unveils One Big Can-Sized Noodle
theonion:Woman Rushed Into Cosmetic Surgery With 8 Glaring Flaws: Full Report
theonion:Woman Rushed Into Cosmetic Surgery With 8 Glaring Flaws: Full Report
theonion:BALTIMORE—Demonstrating far more passion for his beliefs and capacity for rhetorical flair
theonion:BALTIMORE—Demonstrating far more passion for his beliefs and capacity for rhetorical flair
theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
theonion:‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
theonion:PRO: Get to puncture child with needleCON: You have to go to a place
theonion:PRO: Get to puncture child with needleCON: You have to go to a place
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