(Source Vincent van Gogh Sorrowing Old Man (‘At Eternity’s Gate’) 1890. Oil )
(Source Vincent van Gogh Sorrowing Old Man (‘At Eternity’s Gate’) 1890. Oil )Alone, so alone, I cannot believe that Mary left me. Well I guess I have some peace in knowing that it wasn’t willingly, nor was it abrupt. The tumour had simply spread too far and the chemotherapy treatments simply were no longer effective. I look up from where I am hunched over seated in the old wooden chair in front of the fireplace. I can no longer bear to stay in the house we so loving built together. It is still too soon, it will always be too soon and the memories are still too fresh, like how we used to roast marshmallows in the fireplace with the children with the children when they were younger and later the grand-children. Or how we used to cuddle and watch those old cheesy she loved. Even though I hated them I suffered through them just to see her sappy smile and sigh dreamily at the happily ever after and how afterwards she would declare her never-ending love to me and promise me forever. It has only been a week and yet it feels like an eternity without her by my side. Our children seem to be handling it well. They were well aware this may happen. They are so lucky to be able to immerse into the familiarity of their day to day routine and not drift like I am. Mary, I don’t know how to live without you and if I knew you wouldn’t be mad at me I would join you now. Yet I know you better than that, so I will continue your bucket list. I love you Mary. -- source link
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