softjensen: A lot of people see AOS Kirk as a cocky, promiscuous, jerk. And that’s because tha
softjensen: A lot of people see AOS Kirk as a cocky, promiscuous, jerk. And that’s because that’s exactly what he wants you to see. Jim is the definition of fake it til you make it. Using his charm to reel people in while still keeping them at arms length so it won’t hurt if they screw him over. The real Jim shows through when he’s scared.His best friend is leaving him. He can’t blame him, it’s Jim’s own fault that he’s in this situation. But that doesn’t take away the sting of being left behind. It’s nothing new. Alone, again. After watching his mother leave so many times, and then his brother too. So he plasters on a smile and wishes McCoy the best. Then he finally has his crew. His family. The thing he’s searched so hard for. When they’re threatened, he doesn’t even have to think about it. He gives himself up willingly. Anything to protect them. But he isn’t enough. All he can say is, “I’m sorry”. Sorry he couldn’t be his father. Sorry he couldn’t save them. When he’s backed against the wall, he is terrified but knows that he has to do whatever he can. If anyone is going to be put into harms way, it’s going to be him. The ship can spare him. And the only reason he feels he can leave is because he trusts Spock to take care of the ship. “The Enterprise and her crew need someone in that chair that knows what he’s doing… That’s not me.” It can’t be him. Not after he failed. His pleading did nothing. His father’s shoes are hard to fill but that doesn’t stop him from trying his damnedest to do just that. Even if it gets him killed. As long as his crew are safe… well hell, isn’t that all that matters? -- source link