spiribia:can’t fit all relevant images in the post but top row is ep 9′s kid utena in th
spiribia:can’t fit all relevant images in the post but top row is ep 9′s kid utena in the coffin after her parents died. her extended dialogue is along the lines of “living on, it’s just making me sick… why does everyone go on living if they all have to die someday? why didn’t i realize it before today? that there’s no such thing as something eternal… so, i’ve had enough. i’ll never come out of this coffin… i don’t want to be with anyone anymore. i’ll never come out into the sunlight again.” compared to the ep 23 scene where utena thinks anthy’s avoiding her, falls asleep at the table, has a dream flashback to being a kid in her coffin in the anguish that everything is temporary, wakes up and sees that anthy has actually come home and is holding her hand, has a vision of anthy’s hand slipping from hers, and holds onto anthy’s hand more tightly. compared to a version of utena that acknowledges that the future will look different from this and a version of utena that has hope that the someday ahead of them is brighter. do you understand what i’m saying . ive been gesturing at this for like weeks but cant articulate it. the transition from having no hope at all and not even wanting to be with other people again for fear of that loss to, fully still aware of this potential for loss, hoping for a better future. an utena that learns to want to live for what could be ahead where some time ago she saw nothing. (looks at you as an appeal for help) -- source link