theonion: Ted Cruz Provides Detailed Response To Moderator’s Question About Why His Face So
theonion: Ted Cruz Provides Detailed Response To Moderator’s Question About Why His Face So Fucking Infuriating HOUSTON—Responding to moderator Wolf Blitzer’s question about why voters who look at him are overwhelmed with feelings of intense aggravation and disgust, presidential candidate Ted Cruz provided a comprehensive outline during Thursday night’s GOP debate laying out exactly why his face is so fucking infuriating. “Ever since I was a child, I have had a weaselly, piece-of-shit face that you can’t help but want to hit, and that’s never changed—how many other candidates on this stage can say that?” said Cruz, adding that oftentimes when he looks in the mirror, even he wants to drive a screwdriver through his eyes so he never has to see his stupid, boxy head and waggling, doughy chin ever again. More. -- source link