gffa: gffa: Forces of Destiny: Daring Adventures Vol. 2 | Emma Carlson Berne WHAT AN ANXIOUS PO

gffa:gffa:Forces of Destiny: Daring Adventures Vol. 2 | Emma Carlson Berne WHAT AN ANXIOUS POTATO, BUT I STILL LOVE HIM.  One of the things that made the Forces of Destiny shorts/books so good is these little details and how it really showed the early days of Anakin and Ahsoka’s relationship and just how anxious Anakin was inside his own head.Ahsoka’s late and he’s practically twisting himself into knots, no matter that Yoda’s just calmly waiting over there, content to simply wait in the moment.  Meanwhile, Anakin can feel the calm around him–the birds chirping, the warmth seeping into his skin, the calming hand Yoda puts on him–but it only goes surface deep, underneath that, he can’t have faith in Ahsoka when she’s running late, it’s not until he has proof that she’ll show up that he can truly relax.  He can’t trust in her, even knowing that this is important to her and anything that would slow her down must have been important and that they’ll work it out.I love it because it shows that they started out rocky–Ahsoka thinks about how that Anakin made that very clear–but we also know where they end up, that Anakin comes to love her so much that her departure from his life tears him up in a way that he can’t even start to get over, just like he has trouble getting over or letting anything go.I love this so intensely because it shows that this is a big part of what Anakin fell over, that he had so much trouble letting things go, that it wasn’t just anger and fury and rage, but an inability to trust and have faith in the people he loved (whom he genuinely loved) and anxieties gibbering away in his mind that he kept shoving back down instead of dealing with them.  I love this so intensely because I have lived with those same gibbering brain weasels squirming around in my head and Anakin Skywalker is a constant reminder to not just shoo them into the corners, but to pick them up and look at them and deal with them.And I love it because there’s such care and affection here, which makes knowing where all this ends HURT ALL THE MORE.  *cries about Anakin and Ahsoka all over again*thewillowbends replied:I also love how it’s still so IC because, of course, his concern for her but also for himself - he believes this reflects badly on HIM.I really love that part of this, too–that him thinking, “How could Ahsoka let him down like this?” is such a connective line to how they parted, when she had to tell him that her leaving wasn’t about him.  Nobody could doubt how much he cares about Ahsoka, how much he comes to love her, but Anakin is very much a person who is self-centered in how he sees the people around him.  Those relationships are about how much he loves them, how they affect him, how he all too often has trouble not letting how he feels about something override how someone else has their own thing going on.The biggest example is, of course, Padme.  He’s willing to make a deal with the devil to save her, he’s willing to kill children and kill the people who adopted him and willing to support an evil, fascist Empire, so long as Padme’s life is saved.  “I can’t live without her!” he says and there’s no thought to how she would feel about all of this.  And when she can’t join him on this horrible path–even when she’s horrified that he’s killed younglings and is destroying democracy all around them–he gets furious with her.It’s not all there is to Anakin, he genuinely loves the people around him, he loves Padme and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan!  There are times when he struggles to set aside his own feelings about how this affects him and go with how the other person’s feelings are more important than his own sometimes.  But it’s still something he struggles with all too often.  He’s concerned for Ahsoka, he wants her to be happy, but also he’s so worried about himself, that she let him down, that he’s embarrassing himself in front of Master Yoda.I love this scene for illustrating that Anakin’s anxieties and fears are something in him, that there’s nothing triggering them from an external source, but that they’re demons that haunt him from within.  He has no reason to think Yoda’s going to judge him–the opposite is evidenced here, Yoda’s telling him he has faith in Ahsoka and being really gentle with him–and he’s not really concerned about why Ahsoka is late, not trusting that she’s a good kid who would have a good reason.  He jumps right to anxiety, because that’s what lives in his head.  And he can get over it!  He does by the end of the short!  He’s happy for Ahsoka and he calms down!  He puts it behind him!  Except that it’s going to come up again because he doesn’t really want to look at why that’s the first thing he always jumps to.I love this scene for showing just how much Anakin Skywalker really, deeply cares about those around him, he’s concerned for her sake, but that he’s also concerned for himself, too.  AND WHAT AN ANXIOUS POTATO HE IS, like, I have never related to a character more. -- source link

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