ofgeography: ofgeography: sashayed: sashayed: sashayed: ofgeography: smoretime: chrisisoninfiniteear

ofgeography:ofgeography:sashayed:sashayed:sashayed:ofgeography:smoretime:chrisisoninfiniteearths:nicoleanell:wrathofthegiraffe:I want a reimagining of Hamlet that is completely faithful to the original except that Hamlet is replaced with Craig Middlebrooks from Parks and Rec.this is my friend Horatio and HE DROVE ME HERE.Is… is this not basically what Hamlet is like?@ofgeographyQUEEN GERTRUDEAlas, he’s mad!HAMLETOSRICYou are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is–HAMLETGHOSTRevenge his foul and most unnatural murder.HAMLETMurder!GHOSTMurder most foul, as in the best it is;But this most foul, strange and unnatural.HAMLETHaste me to know’t, that I, with wings as swiftAs meditation or the thoughts of love,May sweep to my revenge.GhostI find thee apt;And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weedThat roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf,Wouldst thou not stir in this. Now, Hamlet, hear:‘Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard,A serpent stung me; so the whole ear of DenmarkIs by a forged process of my deathRankly abused: but know, thou noble youth,The serpent that did sting thy father’s lifeNow wears his crown.HAMLETFIRST PLAYER….But if the gods themselves did see her thenWhen she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sportIn mincing with his sword her husband’s limbs,The instant burst of clamour that she made,Unless things mortal move them not at all,Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,And passion in the gods.’POLONIUSLook, whether he has not turned his colour and hastears in’s eyes. Pray you, no more.HAMLETGUILDENSTERNGood my lord, put your discourse into some frame and start not so wildly from my affair.HAMLETHAMLETI loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothersCould not, with all their quantity of love,Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?KING CLAUDIUSO, he is mad, Laertes.QUEEN GERTRUDEFor love of God, forbear him.HAMLETHAMLETTo be, or not to be: that is the question:Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;No more; and by a sleep to say we endThe heart-ache and the thousand natural shocksThat flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummationDevoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;For in that sleep of death what dreams may comeWhen we have shuffled off this mortal coil,Must give us pause: there’s the respectThat makes calamity of so long life;For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,The insolence of office and the spurnsThat patient merit of the unworthy takes,When he himself might his quietus makeWith a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,To grunt and sweat under a weary life,But that the dread of something after death,The undiscover’d country from whose bournNo traveller returns, puzzles the willAnd makes us rather bear those ills we haveThan fly to others that we know not of?Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;And thus the native hue of resolutionIs sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,And enterprises of great pith and momentWith this regard their currents turn awry,And lose the name of action.–Soft you now!The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisonsBe all my sins remember’d.OPHELIAGood my lord,How does your honour for this many a day?HAMLETHAMLETO God, your only jig-maker. What should a man dobut be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully mymother looks, and my father died within these two hours.OPHELIANay, ‘tis twice two months, my lord.HAMLETSo long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, forI’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die twomonths ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there’shope a great man’s memory may outlive his life halfa year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches,then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, withthe hobby-horse, whose epitaph is ‘For, O, for, O,the hobby-horse is forgot.’ -- source link

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