RICK & JOSÉ | NORTH GOWER, ONRick was also born in Ottawa but was raised in

RICK & JOSÉ | NORTH GOWER, ONRick was also born in Ottawa but was raised in a conservative Jewish environment. Although his family did not attend synagogue every Saturday, they did go during the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Always interested in science, Rick adopted a scientific approach to life and soon started challenging his religion’s tenets. Once he and his father had a discussion about evolution. His father believed, without doubt, that the earth was only around 4,000 years old. When Rick asked his father about dinosaurs existing here at least 60 million years ago, his father’s response was “That’s just put there to test us”. Realizing that he could not win when arguing against his father’s faith, they agreed to disagree.“While denying creationism and an omnipotent God, I do embrace the basic beliefs common to all religions – being compassionate and kind to others, and accepting the differences (and similarities) shared by all peoples.”Rick is proud of the Jewish traditions he was raised with, but considers himself to be an atheist.José was born and raised in Ottawa. She and her siblings went to Catholic School and attended mass every Sunday with their parents. Her father died when she was still quite young and her mother, who was less religious, took the children to less conventional services at a seminary. It was a much smaller gathering and everyone there knew each other. “The main ideas preached by the predominantly Dutch priests were more about being a good, decent person and less about church dogma. These elements have always stayed with me as the most important thing to believe in.”Although she is not practicing any religion these days she misses that sense of community church provides. She identifies as a non-practicing Catholic bordering on agnostic.THEIR STORY:José’s sister was dating Rick’s best friend, and that is how they were first introduced. Rick and José hit it off immediately feeling comfortable and at ease with each other. After only a few weeks together they were talking about the logistics of marriage. They dated for three years before getting engaged, the time necessary for the idea to sink in and be accepted by Rick’s parents and so the wedding coincided with university graduation.The biggest challenge so far in their relationship was the first four years. Before they  married, Rick’s family was very much against them being together and kept trying to get him to date Jewish women. They had even threatened not to come to the wedding.“This hurt my feelings but we were never going to be apart. I tried my best to win them over with kindness and eventually when grandchildren arrived we came to a better understanding but there was always a certain distance.”José’s family had sheltered Jews during the war in Holland, and have always been accepting of her relationship with Rick. José’s father had died before Rick came into the picture, so he only knew her mother. “Moeder” as she was called by everyone, was very amenable and  believed that love and happiness trumped all other things in a relationship.When Rick proposed - although it was not a surprise as they had already gone shopping for the ring - he prepared a fabulous meal including homemade pasta, and even got down on one knee.The wedding however was a little bit tense. Jose’s sister (who was a bridesmaid) had just broken off her engagement with the best man! “Needless to say, between them staring daggers at each other and the Jewish parents not at all happy, it was quite the wedding! It was an unusual service in that we had to hire a Rabbi from Toronto to come and perform the service alongside the family priest.”Rick and José now have two sons, both in their twenties. While raising them, they strove to pass on their moral beliefs which emphasise the respect, kindness and compassion that is  common to every religion, and to allow their sons the freedom to choose their own paths. They also tried to celebrate the major holidays from both families such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover, and even Saint Nicholas.  “We like to think that they have grown up into two fine young men with strong moral compasses.”Their North Gower home in the country is Rick and José’s haven. They built most of it themselves, and enjoy being away from the city. When they bought the lot, Rick’s parents realized that there was no synagogue close by.“I think for them it was finally the realization that our children would not be brought up in their faith. My parents finally accepted this and in the end were very close to their grandchildren.”This year they celebrate 35 years of marriage.“I often thought I should write a short story about our relationship. I hoped to give an example to others that love can conquer all and that in time things can work out… patience pays off.”You can follow the INTERLOVE Project on Facebook and Twitter and if you have an interfaith love story to share please fill in this form!©  2015 Colin Boyd Shafer, All Rights Reserved. -- source link

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