sgclublust:It’s a very emotional night for me today. It’s been awhile since i last felt this way. Ha
sgclublust:It’s a very emotional night for me today. It’s been awhile since i last felt this way. Having someone in a minute and losing it in another. With lots of wine at this chilling bar, i lost count how many glasses i had. She had first contacted me via kik during last august. She caught my attention with her display photo. A very artistic photo showing her curvy body. We chatted slightly for awhile and the conversation die off with myself not replying to her. Early this month, a girl with the same display photos texted me. I recognised her immediately since it’s the same dp. She had saw my recent videos and it got her really excited. We were discussing about meeting up but she was having a no entry week.We finally managed to arranged a meet up before i leave for my vacation. I’m very anxious to see her when i’m waiting for her to come down to the carpark. I wondered how beautiful this girl could be. And not disappointing me, she was gorgeous. Most importantly, she is the type of girl i like. Not because of her beauty, but the way she presented herself and the way she spoke which captured my whole attention while i drove to the hotel.We checked into the hotel and went to our room. We chatted for almost 40 mins. She intrigued me during the whole duration as we talked about life and work. Her smile made me felt warm and i felt very comfortable with her. I took my shower and chatted awhile before we had sex. No, it’s not sex that i felt. I felt like we’re making love. I was looking at her the whole time and wanted so much to kiss her. We did when she realised i’m looking straight into her eyes with my lip close by her’s.We left our 3 hours room and i wanted to asked her for supper but it was near to her sleeping time so i send her home. I wanted to give her a hug and a kiss before she leave but i did not have the courage to ask for it. She opened the door and walked toward her lift lobby with me glancing at her the whole time hoping that she would turned back and at least wave a goodbye to me. She did not! I drove out the carpark having the feeling that this would be another one night stand. I reached my place and sitting in my car, i went through my telegram. With 50+ msg without any from her. I texted her telling her that i had reached home. I stayed in my car for the next 20 mins hoping for a reply but there was none. I guessed she was asleep but i had a complicated feelings on this.For the rest of the night and the next day, i had been looking at my telegram hoping she had read my msg. It was still a single tick. My feelings were a mixture of anticipation and worries. She finally read my text to her and she replied. She had regretted her action meeting me so randomly without even a proper meet up. She felt disgusted and degrading with herself. She regretted her action and would not like to have anything to do with me anymore. I tried to asked her for a proper date for us to get to know each other better. The text was read by her and the 2 tick stayed there with no reply.That moment, i felt sadness in me. Knowing i would never see her again and wished i had met her through a proper way and not via tumblr.That moment, i wished i had not allowed my heart to skip a beat. That moment, i wished i’m not Mr. LustReading through your post reminds me of a similar episode as well. It’s through encounters like these that reshape my perspective of relationship & love.I too wish I had met (my own)her through a proper way. Cute freckled face & killer bod with a charming personality. Still remember everything about her. The pretty dress she wore, her hairstyle, her demeanor, the wit she possessed in conversation & all the little things that made me dream again. Totally my type but our relationship was as fleeting as this post.Do I have regrets? Yes, because I will never get to see her again. Did this change the way I live? No, because I am who I chose to be. I knew the possibilities of meeting someone magical, and the trade offs that were implied in certain arrangements.The thing is the goodness and the bitterness comes as a package in the character we choose to be. You can’t have one without the other. It’s not scarcity… It’s a law. We all choose who we want to be and draw our own conclusions at one point or another. And overall, I still fucking love being me.(: -- source link