memosfromfury: [Submitted by: fannishminded Running out of lube is not a legitimate emergency.
memosfromfury:[Submitted by: fannishmindedRunning out of lube is not a legitimate emergency.S.H.I.E.L.D. emergency airspace priority orders and acquisition resources are not to be used for purpose of acquiring ANY non-essential supplies; such as sexual aids or supplies for “perfect first times.”Non-essential supplies are anything not actively needed for saving human lives. Specific examples of what is not to be acquired via S.H.I.E.L.D. resources includes lube, chocolate fondue, edible paints, silk-lined handcuffs, ball gags or warming dishes.Tony Stark is further reminded that Peter Parker is, in fact, still under age, as are Theodore and William. As a result of this I have re-evaluated the effectiveness of simple memos and reminders of the Sexual Harassment policies.I am ordering a mandatory week long sexual harassment course for the following personnel:EVERYONE.You can all thank Mr. Stark for this at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.]It’s at this point everyone silently agrees to make Tony’s life hell from now on. -- source link