[image description: Portrait of Ambrose Burnside, Former Governor of Rhode Island. His strangely-sha

[image description: Portrait of Ambrose Burnside, Former Governor of Rhode Island. His strangely-shaped face offset by remarkable white sideburns. Really big sideburns that connect to a wide white mustache. He has no beard and sports a dark blue suit and a bright blue tie over a cream colored shirt front and a cream colored collar. Behind him, a beamed ceiling hangs over a room of blue and gold mosaic. Text reads, “107, Ambrose – Small God of Sideburns.”]• • • • •There is some debate, among extremely inconsequential theological circles, as to whether he is a small god in the traditional sense—a divinity risen out of the ether in response to a perceived gap in the functionality of the universe—or a small god in the ascended sense, a person who became so associated with one of those perceived gaps that the universe, rather than making something entirely new to fill the hole, simply made due with what was already there.Either Ambrose was a general in the American Civil War, fighting against the Confederacy on the side of the United States against the horrors of slavery, a man of infinite complexity, of unrecorded thoughts, dreams, and ideals, capable of change and growth, or he wasn’t.  And if he was, it must be asked what kind of sins he committed in his life, to deserve this eternity.  Yes, he has a god’s abilities, but limited to such a narrow scope, such a narrow slice of all he was, than in his case, godhood seems a punishment.He will make your sideburns glorious and thick.  Your facial hair will be the envy of all who look upon you, even those who would, under normal circumstances, find it unattractive.  Your moustache will, as they say, bring all the boys to the yard, and they’ll be like, it’s better than ours.Damn right, it’s better than theirs.  You could teach them, but you’d have to charge.And all the while, the small god of sideburns weeps unnoticed.• • • • •Join Lee Moyer (Icon) and Seanan McGuire (Story) Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a guide to the many small deities who manage our modern world:Tumblr: https://smallgodseries.tumblr.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/smallgodseriesInstagram: https://instagram.com/smallgodseries/Homepage: http://smallgodseries.com -- source link

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