I am okay! There’s really no need to worry. I’m being careful with myself, and being med
I am okay! There’s really no need to worry. I’m being careful with myself, and being medically monitored, and my parents and roommate and many people close to me know the sitch and are helping. This was a planned and medically consulted break from SSRIs. I went right back on them last time this test was canceled, so I’ve been on them regularly for years, and only went off of them again, with careful tapering, about a month ago. I’m just discouraged mostly. Being off my SSRIs doesn’t (currently) make myself a danger to myself or others in any way. And I don’t think it will. It just makes me…cranky, lol. Way more quick to lose patience or feel overwhelmed. Way snippier.And also burns out all executive function, which isn’t FUN because serotonin is the DOING THINGS juice and I, like most people, USE it so I can DO THINGS. And it’s harder to DO THINGS without it. And I LIKE to DO THINGS. And I LIKE WHEN I LIKE DOING THINGS. And I DON’T LIKE when I CAN’T DO THINGS for NO APPARENT REASON.What it really means in that really light schedule I posted? The one where I manage only one liveblog and one stream a week? Yeah, that’s going to probably be my max capacity for longer than I hoped. Maybe even a bit of a push, lol. I’m not even sure the audio editing will get done. I’m going to try! Small reasonable goals! Especially as I still need to, like, do dishes and clean litterboxes and pay bills somehow and stuff. I just need to be kind to myself. Do my best. Not beat myself up when I want to do more. And I really want to focus on ramping UP my productivity right now, and this was already throwing a big ol’ wrench into that, and so I was looking forward to reaching the end of this whole thing. It will still happen! My appointment was on September 30, at the very end of the month. This is just an extra month or month and a half. Maybe even less! When they say “October” maybe they mean October 10 and it’s not even an extra two weeks! It’s a longer tunnel than I was initially planning on, but it’s still a short one! I know I can do this! I appreciate y’all looking out for me too. I will do my darndest, despite everything! And if not as much gets done, I promise I’m trying, and I fully intend to do more soon. Just not as soon as I hoped, lolsob. -- source link
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