gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude Watson I really loved this passage because it illustrates so w

gffa:Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI really loved this passage because it illustrates so well the situation–and one of the things that I’m really appreciating about the Jedi Quest books that I’ve read is that I think they nail Anakin down really well.  A huge, huge theme of this book is that Anakin takes everything the others say in such defensive ways, that he’s constantly at odds with Ferus or angry that he’s not being taken as seriously as he wants to be or that he’s not being listened to enough, in a way that shows that this is an internal issue.This doesn’t negate that he’s genuinely trying and that he genuinely wants to do better, but it does show that Anakin gets way up in his head sometimes.  In addition to the myriad of moments where he’s overly aggressive and/or defensive, there’s this moment.Obi-Wan specifically starts out with a moment of reassurance and praise, which Anakin forgets as soon as it’s followed up with pointing out of the things he did wrong.  (Later, at the end of the book, Obi-Wan also easily gives him more praise, showing that, yes, Obi-Wan does praise and reassure him.)  And as soon as Obi-Wan’s done talking to him–and, frankly, that was barely criticism–Anakin immediately is upset that Ferus overheard, despite that Ferus has given him no real reasons to think that he’s judging Anakin at this point.I love it because I’m sympathetic to Anakin in that I like criticism first THEN praise, I like ending on a positive, reassuring note.  That is absolutely a valid way to prefer things–if you actually speak up and accept that you still gotta swallow both down.  If Anakin had said, “Could you switch those two things around?  Start with the corrections, then end on the positive notes?” I am absolutely sure that Obi-Wan would have and I think Anakin would have done well to understand that much about himself.But one of the things that’s consistently a theme is that it’s not that Anakin doesn’t get praise–god, how many books have I read where Anakin thinks in his own head that Obi-Wan only rarely gives him praise, meanwhile in the actual dialogue Obi-Wan praises him like five times over the course of the story, it’s just that he also points out when Anakin needs corrections?  I HAVE READ THAT DEFINITELY MORE THAN ONCE–it’s that criticism and corrections wipe out any praise that he just got, that it never lasts, and that’s it, that’s really so much at the heart of my beautiful disaster son.He gets praise, it’s just never enough because he’s trying to use it to fill the lack of self-esteem within him (as always: his ego is in the stratosphere and his self-esteem in the toilet, which can be a hard thing to determine from an external point of view, but when we get glimpses into Anakin’s direct thoughts, it becomes so much clearer), and he genuinely feels like he’s not getting enough, that other people aren’t giving him enough, rather than looking at why he discards the praise so easily and fixates on the corrections.  (AND I HAVE BEEN THERE, I FEEL YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL SON.) -- source link

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