irradiatedsnakes: best image i could get of it (picture of a tv screen. perfect) buuuuut here’

irradiatedsnakes:best image i could get of it (picture of a tv screen. perfect) buuuuut here’s what i can get of that:There was once a wise Roman philosopher who spent his days in the [???] of the great emperor Julius [three more names that i cant read, this fella has a long and roman name]. He advised the king in all matters of philosophy and knowledge and soon taught him the value of flossing. Turns out it’s really really really really really important. Start doing it. It’ll change your life. He was considered by many to be the smartest Roman that ever lived. However, this philosopher was not content with simply being the smartest Roman- nay, he desired to be the smartest human EVER. He requested that the Roman army, while conquering, bring back all books and scrolls instead of feeding them to dolphins as was the custom at the time. Soon the pilosopher’s library was filled with more knowledge than any ordinary man could consume in his lifetime, but the philosopher was not satisfied. He needed more. He swore to the heavens he would find it!One night, while sleeping, he was visited by a specter. This character, geometrically perfect in form, introduced himself as Billius Cipherus and told the man he could bring him the knowledge he sought- with just one catch. The philosopher was intrigued. “Whatever you need i will grant if it;s within my power!” Billius explained he would need to enter the philosopher’s mind. You know, to hold the door open. For the knowledge. All that sweet sweet knowledge. The philosopher saw no problem with that and let Billius Cipherus into his mind. What followed horrified him. Billius took possession of his form and used it to deceive the Emperor into making a lot of really bad decisions, like giving cats the right to vote and having his army wage war on itself in a game he called “stab the guy to your left”. Only one person survived. They also recalled[?] all gladiatorial combat at the coliseum and replace it with curling, which as we all know is the worlds worst sport. Soon, the empire collaped and it was all the philosopher’s fault. By the time he got his body back, he had been branded a traitor and was sentenced to death, which would have happened except Billius name through on his end of the bargain and filled the philosopher’s head with knowledge. It was really cool for like thirty seconds, but then it became overwhelming and resulted in what the Romans call “Explodus Dome-icus” which as you can guess is fatal. -- source link

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