theonion:U.S. Funneling Arms To Dissident Angel Group In Effort To Topple GodTHE HEAVENS—Blowing the
theonion:U.S. Funneling Arms To Dissident Angel Group In Effort To Topple GodTHE HEAVENS—Blowing the lid off an ongoing plot to help destabilize His Eternal Kingdom, highly placed sources within the intelligence community revealed Friday that the United States has been funneling weapons to a dissident group of angels in an attempt to overthrow God.According to the sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter, a CIA-orchestrated operation has provided firearms, ammunition, and financial support to the insurgent angels of the New Dawn Front, with the goal of deposing the longtime Heavenly Father and replacing Him with someone who will advance American interests in the region.“For the past two years, agents have been supplying weapons and tactical assistance to a band of angelic resistance fighters who refuse to accept the ways of God and are now waging a guerilla war against Him,” said a source within the CIA, adding that the United States has grown increasingly concerned about the autocratic rule of the Almighty, whose power reportedly knows no limits. “The automatic rifles, heavy artillery, and actionable intelligence they have received from us have allowed them to conduct several operations against the Armies of Heaven, whose elite members are known for their fanatical devotion to the Lord.” Keep reading -- source link