”Off” Times & Keeping Up The MomentumDuring extended Tease & Denial, you

”Off” Times & Keeping Up The MomentumDuring extended Tease & Denial, you will inevitably meet obstacles that interrupt your daily routine of edging and playtime.  Those obstacles might be “firm” and unavoidable “real-world” obligations – like a long business trip or a physical injury.  Or they might be “soft” and emotionally-based – like a lack of desire stemming from stress, physical discomfort, or monthly cycles.One way to deal with these obstacles is to simply call off Playtime, and return to a vanilla sex life for a while.  Remember… tease and denial does not work without the tease part!  If there’s no time or energy for teasing, then you probably shouldn’t be denying, either. (imho) Start a new Playtime later, when the obstacle has passed.But let’s say you are both thoroughly enjoying your Playtime.  Perhaps you have a record-long denial “streak” going, and you don’t want it to end.  Or perhaps you’re both enjoying yourselves so much that you don’t want this temporary obstacle to break your momentum.If that’s the case, then there are many ways to “bridge” the sexual tension, excitement, fun, and energy across the obstacle, from one period of full-on Playtime to another – even when physical contact is temporarily impossible.  The options here are only limited by your creativity.  But, if I can’t tease my husband’s body (for whatever reason), then my personal favorite solution is to control the way in which he teases himself.  You can even make a game out of it.A curious reader asked: Hi HSM, mind if I ask you another question.  i don’t intend it to be personal, but it may sound that way.  Do you play with (including but not limited to teasing-n-denying) your husband when you have your period?  I ask because when my wife has her period almost all play and touching stops.  i have given her a standing offer of pampering (body massage, shoulder massages, foot massage, hand massage, hair washing) - not just during her period - which she doesn’t take me up on while she also doesn’t really touch me and we don’t play. My response:Your offer of pampering is sweet and appreciated, but don’t force it.  The monthly cycle is a physical and emotional rollercoaster unique to every woman.  Your wife knows herself better than anyone.  So first and foremost, you must respect her moods and wishes.  Remember that physical intimacy, whether it’s vanilla or tease+denial, is a mutual pleasure – not just for the one partner (whether it’s the man or the woman) who happens to be in the mood right now.  So basically, don’t pressure her into anything (whether it’s play or pampering) when she doesn’t feel like it.  But, of course, your frustration is real and valid.  Tease and denial without any tease is just denial.  Some couples are into that, but it’s not my thing, and it sounds like it’s not your thing either.  So maybe the two of you should turn off Playtime during her period – leaving you free to “manage” yourself, either alone or in her presence (whichever she prefers).If your mutual communication and playfulness are at the right level, make a game of it!  She could give you a “budget” of self-inflicted edges and ruined orgasms that you are free to “spend” during her off-time.  (I do this sometimes when my husband travels for business)  If you do them privately, you could “report” them to her via coded txt messages (one angel-halo emoji per edge; one sweaty/painface emoji per ruined orgasm).Additional rules: She could make the edges mandatory (i.e., 3 per day) and the ruined O’s optional – with the “incentive” that for each leftover (unspent) ruined O in the budget at the end of her off-week, she will let you go down on her for at least 10 minutes (up to as long as she wants) the next time she feels like it.  In other words, your restraint is rewarded by the joy of pampering/pleasuring her in some deeply satisfying, intimate, submissive way – at an appropriate time.No matter what game we play, I always try to shape my husband’s “prize” or “reward” in that way – his “prize” is never a guaranteed full orgasm (those must be kept uncertain for him at all times).  Rather, his “prize” is usually a chance to experience my climax in an especially intimate way (straddling his face, cumming on his tongue, on his cock, etc).  Remember, the core benefit of tease & denial, for a man, is the cloud-nine euphoria of constant sexual tension and readiness (undermined by orgasm).  And the core benefit, for a woman, is the raw pleasure of his unlimited attention (which often means: as many orgasms as she wants, exactly the way she wants them).  So any “reward” for “good behavior” or “winning the game” should always serve those core benefits.There are a thousand different variations on rules, like those, which you two could implement during her off-time.  The basic goal is to satisfy your (perfectly normal and understandable) need for stimulation while still respecting her mood, comfort, and boundaries.Communication here, again, is critical – and that communication is a lot easier if you already comfortably and openly speak the lingo of edging, ruin, tease, and denial during your normal Playtime.  In other words, another way to improve your potential enjoyment of off-time is to expand, improve, and more deeply/mutually commit to tease & denial during regular Playtime.  That will make it easier to open up and discuss your needs during off-time, and will probably make you both more creative about how to satisfy those needs.For example: One time, when my husband was away on a business trip, we spoke (on average) once a day, right before bedtime.  We agreed that every night, after we got off the phone, I would send him a link to a gif or short video, and he was to edge himself to it as many times as he could.  Then he would txt me a string of angel-halo emojis – one emoji per edge.  Then I would send him another gif, with the simple command “Again” or “More.”  And he would have to edge himself and txt me all over again – and so on, until I stopped sending him stuff.  Then he was free to sleep.But I had a super-fun secret that I didn’t tell him… Before he left, I stockpiled a whole bunch of gifs and videos – way more than I would ever need.  So literally every time he sent me angel emojis, I always fired something back, immediately, telling him “More.”  He thought if he edged enough, I would stop.  But little did he know… it didn’t matter how much he edged.  I always made him do more!  Every night!  …until I fell asleep for the night (at which point, obviously my replies would stop and he figured I was satisfied).It was a fantastic game, and I barely had to lift a finger!  One night, in particular, I stayed up late reading a book in bed.  It was great!  For a couple hours straight, every now and then my phone would buzz… I couldn’t help but chuckle as I sent him another gif, right away, so effortlessly.  “More.”  Knowing that I was all warm and comfy, in my plush bed, in my PJs, with my nightlight and a good book – while my man was hundreds of miles away, naked, twisting, struggling, and sweating for me in a dark hotel – it was a serene thrill… if those two words make sense together.  And I would do it all again in a heartbeat!So get creative and communicate.  If she can’t touch you, maybe she can tell you how to touch yourself!  Hopefully that helps! -- source link
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