nobodydean: nobodydean:season nine dean is sooooooo funny he hates himself so much and is walking ar

nobodydean: nobodydean:season nine dean is sooooooo funny he hates himself so much and is walking around like mr doom and gloom but every word out of his mouth is blatantly missing the point. and also he has meticulously kept scruff so that you know he’s down in the dumps but also like (as has been said in the notes) dean literally WAS there. he was in the bunker he SAW kevin’s health and wellbeing deteriorate and what did he do??? he said suck it up!!! he treated that kid like a machine and kevin is the one who payed the price and he DID fail kevin in that respect. kevin’s death undeniably IS on sam and dean but the wires in this guy’s brain are so crossed that it’s like…. well see dean blames himself for kevin’s death because gadreel killed him and dean was the one who sought gadreel out. but that doesnt actually hold up? like killing kevin is a choice that gadreel made, that gadreel chose to execute knowing all the particulars, and that is something that dean does not have control over. but he feels like its his responsibility. which is just nuts. like its crazy to me how dean perceives himself and what he blames himself for because its all very distanced from whatever he actually did. like:fucking insane! dean is like yeah there’s something inherently poisonous about me that can’t be helped and it gets people killed and its like. babe. No. YOU are responsible for your choices. like. dean actively hurts people, he plays ACTIVE roles in hurting people, but i feel like (and i could probably be corrected on this and it does change season to season) he tends to blame himself instead for any passive role that he takes on. like the more i’ve thought about it the more i think that when dean tells garth he wasn’t there for kevin when he needed him, he means that he literally wasn’t in the room when kevin was killed. he blames himself for not being able to actively, in the moment, stop it (or at least fight it). and even in what he says to sam, he doesn’t actually like… apologise. like if we take him at his word that he does believe he’s doing it all for the right reasons, that the ends do justify the means….. then what?? he doesn’t regret his choices or his actions, which are things he should take responsibility for and things he should be beating himself up over. instead he latches onto this idea that he’s inherently poison, which conveniently excuses any of his actual actions because oh well someone would have got hurt either way, and he’s so fucking miserable that he can’t even see that this is what he’s doing. god. he is literally his own worst enemy huh -- source link

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