deezcandiedyamztho: godfearingwomanist: adebisi-fett:cumbersome-cucumber:xavqior:oeon:dynast
deezcandiedyamztho: godfearingwomanist: adebisi-fett: cumbersome-cucumber: xavqior: oeon: dynastylnoire: tesyeuxmarron: dynastylnoire: caribbritchick: crime-she-typed: This is a convo me, my step sister and one of her fb friends had yesterday, yaw agree??? I agree with this. My friends of different races were shocked that I was paying rent. I don’t mind paying rent at all but it’s really interesting that my friends of other cultures are looked after until they are married. Also, the my Black peers had no financial nest egg to help them through university, unlike my non-Black peers. I just….it irks my soul that as a whole black people and our culture/values are always celebrated for it’s differences to other cultures until it comes to the things we don’t like at home. Then it’s a “ failing of the black community”. Why is it that when we don’t do what others do it’s ultimately discussed as a negative or short coming? Why is that while it’s understood that black people usually are the most underpaid and were hit with all kinds of debts and penalties regarding home ownership and general costs of living we forget how that would impact children generations later? How easy is it for any of us to save anything? Some of us are now the age our parents were when they had us? I can tell you now I can’t save a damn thing without a bill eating or it going into food or something else. And the xenophobia in the discussion above is a thing. We can have these discussions without going to prejudicial stereotypes to make a point. Maybe this is an African American thing? I’m Haitian and I tried to go to another state for college and my parents basically begged me to stay home Maybe. I mean we know all families are different but for some reason black american people think that only black parents will kick you out at 18 or make you pay rent if you stay home instead of letting you live home for free like other cultures/races/ethnicities ™ Some black american parents will put you out when you are grown. some black parents are completely ok with the kids never moving out and furnishing their entire existence. some of that is more of a class thing than a race thing I think though. I think it’s more likely to be class than race I think it’s just hard to keep supporting adults when you don’t have enough money as it is. My parents would never have kicked me out but they also just aren’t struggling.I know plenty of folks of different races who also had poor parents who had to get out and figure shit out early. It varies still, but I’m betting the bigger factor in this is class. I wasn’t supported in order to teach me independence. You look at these other cultures whose kids can barely function without their mothers doing their laundry and you see a good example of how it should be? I’m not buying that shit. Only time my mother came back to throw a small amount of help my way was after my child was born. Just to put it in perspective at least for my ppl since i cant speak for other cultures and other nonblack folksI know a lot of korean kids who are living with their parents and some of them are rich and some of them are poor The rich ones its the whole “ill move out once ive saved enough to buy my own house or get a promotion but ill chip in for bills”Also the parents want them to stay (usually the moms) bc save money, you get a free healthy meal, etc bc they are more concerned about the physical well-being of their grown child than anything else (but often times will have them do their own laundry, some dont it really depends on the family just like any other culture) The poor kids that i know are mostly trying to help out their parents make bill payments and pay the rent or mortgage and so its more convenient for the parents for the kids to live with them and pitch in for everything And then there are the poor kids who are going to college but live with their single parent or parents bc their parents/parent works multiple jobs to keep the family afloat but want to pitch in however they can for their kids education (if it means having the kids stay home instead of moving out to a dorm or apt) Then there is the whole some do stay after marriage and thats usually two thingsFinancial reasons (like everyone mentioned)And the other is often times first born sons in korean families are expected to have their parents move in with them after marriage bc its your duty as a good child (we have a term for it; its being a hyoja;hyodo is thr act of being a good child) to now return the favor of them raising you (which is why if you watch korean family dramas, mother in laws are often concerned about 1)how well the daughter in law is a good wife 2)more importantly, how good of a daughter in law is she to her in laws (can she cook for us, treat us well, etc)) So from my experience its a mix of culture and class at least for the korean kids. But also just the type of family you have so maybe all three lol Sorry if im stepping over bounds i just wanted to provide a perspective in the nonblack people part (or at least the nonblack east asian/korean part) since everyone was making assumptions about what happens in nonblack families; i can take my post into a separate post if im overstepping It’s hella disappointing and quite telling how the sentiments of this post tried make this be a stereotyped cultural and race thing instead of a family by family and class thing. That issue isn’t true for all black families. The assertion that black families in general just up and stop supporting their adult children is farcical, not universal. Some folk just have shitty parents. You can either let that make u or break you. My family is black middle class and my parents have never threatened to kick any of my siblings out. Shoot my sister is 30 and had to move back home to support her and my nephew. I’m 24 and had to leave school due to illness and my parents let me move back in. So it really depends on class and parents…not so much a race thing. I have non black friends be forced to live in their own once they reached a certain age…..of anything, it’s American culture that wants anyone of any race to be out on their own at 18 while other countries and cultures see family staying together as long as possible a positive and an important thing My mom hates that I moved out and we are po folk. I think it is a case by case basis and nothing to do with being black but definitely an American thing because i know plenty of black and white folks that had no option but to be on their own. Just say you hate being black and go I’m Latina and I pay to live with my parents. It’s a class thing. My parents always talk about how gringo kids leave the house like we did, then come back and don’t pay shit, and they ain’t playing that game with us. -- source link