newlifeahead: newlifeahead: If Saying “Yes” to submission is easy, then something is wro
newlifeahead: newlifeahead: If Saying “Yes” to submission is easy, then something is wrong. The passionate hungers and needs deep inside me are as elusive to describe as smoke trailing slowly, in a seductive dance around a candle. There, but in a wispy second gone just that quickly Just outside my grasp, the way to isolate and describe that aching need, that for which I search, no different from the search for my actual self. It is that amazing feeling when asked to humble myself in pleasing him, that I feel it most. That exhilarated excitement, the deep sexual awakening which accompanies it. He allows me to feel and be naughty, slutty, whore-like just for him, It is that feeling and need which continues to be just outside of my grasp. Emotions and doubts sift through my mind like the grains of sand through my fingers on the shore. I look up to see the boiling storm clouds moving quickly toward me. A decision waiting to be made The urgency to run, is overwhelming, but toward or away? The images in the mirror are screaming that I embolden myself, take a chance, being safe no longer an option. I push forward through the emotional fog of fear I know so well, which lives here in this place of indecision. It is not the fear of change; it is the certainty of innocence lost. But is there a point in saving innocence if we ourselves remain lost? There is a knowing in the center of my being that what I give away will not be nearly as great, as what I receive. And still, I question the wisdom of that certainty. Doubting if it is certainty at all, but rather fear disguised. What truly is that which I lose? Is anything really lost forever? Or is there any loss at all? The road is clear; the path is true, yet, the vaporous unknown looms ahead. While I consider the decision I am going to make, I think of his eyes. His kind, intense, confident eyes. Eyes I could look into for a thousand years, and never tire of. Eyes which patiently hold me while I search for the words I am going to say to him, I take a deep breath letting if go slowly, My heart quiets and my pulse beats a little slower as I feel calm begin to wash over me. For all the turmoil in my mind, my voice while enormously quiet, still sounds unexpectedly calm. “ Sir, I relinquish myself to your control forever. Please accept me as you adoring submissive and slave. Please allow me to serve your needs and have the pleasure of pleasing you forever. This is my humble request. At the conclusion of my well weighted words, I kiss the palm of us hand in gratitude, long and hard. When he accepts my submission, my poor heart is so happy it feels it will pop. And now, my new life begins, I look up to the eyes of my future, Smile crinkles visit their corners, while a huge smile covers my face. My complete admiration for him, must be written all over me, but not wanting to take a chance it might not be. I kiss his feet now. The most humbling position I can think to take. Nobody ever said that submission was easy. I suspect that if it were, everybody would do it. And this really isn’t for everybody.while the thoughts, and fears which accompanied my decision were torturous, being on the other side of the decision, is it’s own reward. I feel different, new and polished and pretty, and owned. Trish Nielson © Sometimes things just need to rewritten and made better. And then posted again. Thank you for accepting this as a new piece. Trish -- source link