chdarling-tle: “And then in 1969 there was a wizard who attempted to Apparate while drunk and
chdarling-tle: “And then in 1969 there was a wizard who attempted to Apparate while drunk and split himself clean down the middle. He died, of course, and in the process convinced a whole slew of Muggles that their village was cursed. A real mess for the Improper Use of Magic Office. In the end I think they invented some legend about a haunting, or something like that. Funny how Muggles don’t believe in magic, but they do believe in curses and hauntings?” “Some of them do, I suppose.” “And then there was the case of the Sheffield Splincher, who—“ “Marlene.” Lily put down her spoon, feeling rather put off her breakfast. It was a rainy January morning, the Great Hall’s enchanted ceiling overhead a fresco of tumultuous grey. “As much as I appreciate the depths of your…deeply disturbing research, I really don’t think anyone is going to slice themselves in half during our first lesson today.” “I don’t see why you’re so confident.” Marlene took a hearty bite of sausage, evidently unperturbed by the grisly nature of their conversation. “A room full of inexperienced juveniles who don’t follow instructions trying to bend the very nature of reality? It’s a recipe for disaster. You know, Bertha Jorkins splinched both her ears clean off last year.” “Pity they replaced them, then,” said Lily uncharitably. Despite all her efforts to be a nice person, this commitment never extended far enough to reach the likes of Bertha Jorkins. Read on AO3. -- source link