I was free with every road as my home. No limitations and no commitments. But then summer passed and

I was free with every road as my home. No limitations and no commitments. But then summer passed and winter came and I fell short for safety. I fell for its spell, slowly humming me to sleep, because I was tired and small, too weak to take or handle those opinions and views, attacking me from every angle. Against my art, against my self, against my very way of living. I collected my thoughts, my few possessions and built isolated walls around my values and character. I protected my own definition of beauty and success like a treasure at the bottom of the sea, for no one saw what I saw, or felt the same as I did, and so I wanted to keep to myself. You hide to protect yourself.I was just a kid when I fled, from my home and my friends, and I was easily convinced. I swallowed words and rejections like pills I thought I had to take and I never questioned ugly thoughts about myself or my ways. I took them on and kept them safe behind my ribcage, repeating ugliness every night I tried to sleep and everywhere I went,
and someone should have told me right there and then to throw them off, here and now, before it’s too late. Like flames on my skin for they will burn and kill one day, so run run run far away! But no one did, so I kept swallowing them whole, taking strangers’ opinions to cover up my own and that is the beginning of the rapture. The slow fade of a once-strong mind.– Another Vagabond Lost To Love, Charlotte Eriksson -- source link

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