Though I have in the past, I don’t really like using the word “control” when refer
Though I have in the past, I don’t really like using the word “control” when referring to D/s relationships. I believe it has too much of a negative connotation. It implies that the one under the control has no say. As if they are blindly following orders. I hope this is never the case. No matter how deep your level of submission is, as a submissive it is your duty to think for yourself. No Dom would ever even begin to tolerate a submissive who wants everything done for her. Thinking for yourself is part of what makes you human. Attempting to give that up is almost explicitly saying “I’m not a person, and should not be treated as such.” This, at best, would lead to the end of a relationship. At worst it would lead to abuse. No Dom is perfect. We all make mistakes. And it is up to you to call us out on it. If your Dom loses his temper, it is up to you to point it out and calm him. If he instructs you to do anything that is beyond your limits, it is your duty to use your safe word and stop the situation before it gets out of hand. The control of a Dom should never be absolute. It is you who allows it. And if your Dom is taking advantage of it, you are the only one who can make the decision to either stop it, or leave. -- source link
#defining bdsm