jinxkatkazama: itsme98z: openblogtomyabusivemother: wolfblades: sunflower–sadness: ventingblog
jinxkatkazama: itsme98z: openblogtomyabusivemother: wolfblades: sunflower–sadness: ventingblogmotherfuckersfightme: lost-teen-struggling-with-life: oracleofink: i-should-be-making-homework: manicpixiedreamhair: butwhythoughhhhhh: izanagiandbts: beastgirl9000: lustiel-winchester: deniedmysign: openblogtomyabusivemother: Children have a fundamental need to believe their parents will keep them safe. Children are hardwired to know that they are too vulnerable to protect themselves from the dangers of the world and they’re also hardwired to believe that their parents are going to protect them, no matter what. Therefore, when a parent is abusive, the child resorts to believing that is it not abuse, but warranted behavior for their inability to be a good child. Basically, for a child, it is safer to believe they are a bad child than it is for them to believe that their parent is harming them. This is an amazing coping technique that gets many children through horrifying childhoods, however as an adult, it creates severe problems. Therefore, to have happy adulthoods, we must come to terms with the fact that we were abused. This is incredibly difficult work, but for those survivors who can manage it, a much better life is in store. Other effects of abuse include: ● difficulty with love or trust ● poor self-image ● permanent physical disability ● anti-social/violent behavior ● death - suicide or homicide ● drug and/or alcohol abuse ● troubled relationships ● depression ● anxiety ● eating or sleep disorders ● caring or loving too much, which is co-dependency ● withdrawal ● self-destructive behavior Source: http://www.rdvic.org/index_files/MythsandFactsAboutChildAbuse.htm Reblogging this will work. Liking this will work. Messaging me will not work. Email me at [email protected] I live much of my life in my head, in a fantasy world. I didn’t realize it’s because of the abuse When I was a little girl I used to think that I was a witch in the world of Harry Potter and that I had to beat the dark magician who tormented the children at night, I made drawings about the magician, the children and the nightmares, the years passed and as I grew up I realized that the evil magician was my father and that the children were just me and the nightmares were the repeated violations of my father, even so, for years I thought it was my fault, my mother used to say that I caused it by dressing me like a offered whore When I was younger, I read tons of books. Left and right, even during class. I just thought I was a nerd, but now I’m starting to suspect it was to get away from the chaos in my house… When I was younger and going through it, I would profusely draw. Anything and everything. I had stacks of papers for drawing. I had no idea it was my first coping mechanism. i read books all the time. especially harry potter. i made a fantasy world in my head where i was someone who could fight back and protect others from bad things. i thought i was just being childish I’m a writer, and it didn’t occur to me till I was like 23 how weird it was that all of my original characters in fanfiction and my main characters in my original fiction were orphans. I didn’t realize I was daydreaming about being an orphan. I used to daydream about anything that involved at least a semi-functioning family, or family-like relationship. I only recently realised that the only reason I wanted to be a superhero as a (much younger) kid was because I was jealous of how close all of the avengers are. Whenever I was daydreaming about being a superhero I was never on my own. Always with them. I also never imagined myself saving people. I just really wanted to be part of something. When i was a little girl I pretended I was a Sailor Scout. A Pokemon trainer, a super hero, and that was the real me. Not the girl that I saw through the eyes of who got beaten everyday. I wasn’t the girl cried because she was told she was worthless and nothing and deserved all the abuse and so much worse. I had no family in my fantasies . I wasnt allowed to make any freinds in the real world because my dad forbid it but I had a bunch of friends that loved me in my imagination. I won’t ever forgive my mother’s husband for what he did to me. I know this is a big of a tangent but I think abused people need to hear this. if youve been abused then you dont need to forgive tour abuser if you dont want to. Especially if they arent sorry. Whenever i said i wouldnt forgive my father I was met with disgust but I dont owe him anything. The people who judged me for valuing my mental health and personal growth were wrong. Id doesnt make me a bad person and it doesnt make you a bad person. You dont need to forgive anyone. Especailly if they arent sorry. You arent a bad person for having your feelings. when I was a kid I used to fantasize about being a hero with dope powers that. I used to make entire stories inside my head and living in my fantasy world was so amusing I would spend hours just thinking about it and living it. I had no idea it was my way out my chaotic home and my only way to feel strong, useful and lovable. I had no idea it was due to abuse but it makes every sense I use to day dream about being in a small familial unit. It was callsd.the famILY and just wanted to feel loved. That’s what my daydreams were I used to daydream about being a lead star in a movie. That the events weren’t really reality and everything was just a film across a screen, that it would be over in x amount of hours. It helped numb out a lot of emotions, and get by with the daily abuse. I could only day dream with “small” daily abuse. The “big” abuse are what my nightmares and flashbacks are about. I relate with a lot of people saying it’s a constant daydream and day dreaming to a point that even recognizating you’re a person is wack. I used to daydream that I was adopted and my real family would come and save me. Or about running away into the woods I actually was adopted and used to daydream the same thing! When I was young I would read books 24/7. I used books as an escape. But as I got older and depression worsened, I sadly lost interest in reading (I’m trying to get to back). Now I daydream all the time and dream about how I was adopted by amazing people. They may not be perfect, but when they do something wrong they reckognize it and apologize. When they realize someone is being hurtful, they put a stop to it and call the person out. And they emotionally lift up instead of tear down. I just want some good decent people in my life, is that too much to ask? When I was a kid, I used to live inside my head - I was a superhero, the best, the most loved person there who had lots of siblings so loved her. Even now it’s the same, even though I’m much older -- source link