thejanewestin: In the mood for chaos Harry would DEFINITELY be a Serpent. Parseltongue, anyone? this

thejanewestin: In the mood for chaos Harry would DEFINITELY be a Serpent. Parseltongue, anyone? this Harry inspired by the wonderful @upthehillart This. Is. GOLD.So. Draco is definitely Cheryl Blossom. Draco: I’m in the mood for chaos. Draco: Sorry to interrupt the sad breakfast club…Draco:  You were cruel to me, father. It was abuse, plain and simple. So, henceforth, if you breathe it’s because I give you air. If you drink, it is because I poured your cup myself, and if you move, it is quietly and with my blessing.He is just this. Living in dark family’s mansion with his asshole-dad (who probably already killed somebody). He got green-coloured style and not-so-secretly loves snakes (and one exact serpent). And don’t you dare saying that he can’t be cheer captain, because he can and he is.Draco (to everybody): Listen up fives, a ten is speaking. Draco (to Neville): You’ve got the vocabulary of a baked potato. Draco: You’re welcome to challenge me, but you’ll lose. That Draco, who is good in everything - cheerleading, singing, studying. And he knows it, and he is always here for some challenge.Harry is Jughead and Toni at once, plus lil bit Archie vibes when it comes to ohh we need to save somebody’s life shit.Harry: You can’t go through life trying not to get hurt. Harry: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, especially not when there’s a snake curled up in its limbs. Harry: What makes a place feel like home? Is it warmth and familiarity? Some idealized, make-believe TV version of the American Dream? Is it love and acceptance? Or is it simple safety? Remember, who Harry freackin’ Potter is – the sass king, please? That Harry, who no need to call me sir, professor? This is gold, and this is something, what could Jughead actually say.Harry (to Ron):  We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we just both do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions? And Toni. Because of, like I said, sass, and also there is two things about Harry bi-king Potter:Harry (to Ginny): Besides, I’m more into boys anyway.Harry (to Draco): You’re sensational.Harry lives with his godfather, Sirius (FP), old-but-gold Serpent, and with his who-knows-whom, Remus (Fred), the one cooking meals and being really cool dad.This time he is actually sorted into serpent’s house.And of course, the holy trinity – motocycle, typewriter and leather jacket.Ron is basically Archie. Some redheaded jock, but in a good way.Ron: From now on, we’re protecting our own. Draco (about Ron-and-Lavender shiet): So, what are you three hens gossiping about? Ron’s Efron-esque emergence from the chrysalis of puberty?He is a jock, he has some leader qualities, he is a good friend, he will do anything for Harry and Harry will do anything for him. And he can be smart and dangerous, even if you don’t expect him to. Pansy: You’re a little more dangerous than you look, aren’t you? All Boy-Next-Door-ish?Ron: You have no idea. His family maybe not as rich as Malfoy’s, but big and happy, actually. Hermione is (Hermione, LOL, no) Betty, actually. She is smart, but cool, it looks like she is nice, and maybe sometimes she is, but dude you should be scared.Hermione: Who would’ve thought at the beginning of the year that we would all become great friends? She is the one, who will find all the facts and solve the mystery, ‘cause she is the smartest, and she won’t stop when it is just almost perfect.Hermione: I’m not gonna stop until I prove it. And she probably will punch Draco in the face. Draco: Are you threatening me?Hermione: This? No. This is fun friendly talk. Ginny is Veronica. Yes, her family isn’t rich, but she can sass the shit out of you, man. That girl has no chill.Ginny: I don’t follow the rules. I make them. And when necessary,  I break them. Ginny: You may be a stock character from a 90s teen movie, but I’m not. Ginny: Can’t we just liberate ourselves from the tired dichotomy of jock, artist. Can’t we, in this post-James Franco world, be all things at once? She will fight with you for her friends and her ass brothers, and she is bloody terrifying.And she will have a dance battle with Draco Malfoy, because why not and because she can.Neville is Kevin, the nicest cutie pie and chocolate cake. He is everything, bitches. He is good friend, he is cool guy, he is beautiful and he can be sarcastic af.Neville: In real life, what you see is what you get. And of course, Harry, Ginny and Neville will kick some sister’s asses for Draco being imprisoned.Pansy is Josie. She can be bitch, she is actually cunning, but she is cool, she is a good friend and she can kick some ass.Pansy: Read my glossed lips – not gonna happen. Blaise is Chuck with a bit of Moose. He can fuck some girls and be asshole, but he also likes boys, is actually nice and funny and can change for the better.Luna is Ethel  – cute, nice, a little nerdy, will fight for her friends, can survive anything.You can fight me on this, but I don’t really think you will, because… Why? -- source link

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