yeahstr82gay: From a previous post … . It was Todd Davis from Huntingdon Farms, husband of He
yeahstr82gay: From a previous post … . It was Todd Davis from Huntingdon Farms, husband of Heidi, father of four. I knew, because I’d been creeping on him as discretely as possible since arriving here and had finally figured out who he was on the guest list. We’d said hello exactly once, at the dune buggy hut, as we both reserved buggies for ourselves and our kids … . He turned and held out his hand. “I‘m Todd. Todd Davis.” The touch of his palm–I tried not to hold his hand too long. I’d shoved all these feelings deep down into my gut for 28 years, and I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself now. Even if I would gladly be a fool for him. “Brent Erickson. From Maywood.” Todd speaks … . “Are you okay?” That’s what my wife asked the night after I spoke with a guy from Maywood, which is just, like, 30 minutes from where I live. It was the first time I had ever tried talking to guy with–you know, with that in mind, and I just kept rolling it over and over in my mind, wondering if I had been too obvious or not obvious enough, and I guess my wife realized I was distracted. “Yeah. I’m fine, babe.” I put my arm around her and pulled her closer. The sun had set by then, the kids were in bed, and we were just walking along the beach in front of our cottage. “You?” “Mm. Yes.” She snuggled closer. The truth is, I wasn’t fine. I can’t describe how I felt after talking to that guy–Brett, or Brent, or whatever. For 38 years I’d kept this–this thing all deep down inside of me, but lately–well, lately, it’s just been wanting to push out. Like a boner, ha. Okay, that was lame. Honestly, I don’t really know how to even talk about this yet. But I wasn’t fine, because I felt so damn … so damn shaky after talking to him, as though I’d just stripped naked in front of a hundred strangers. And I’d acted so … so gay. Faggy. I mean, I’m sorry for saying that word if it’s “bad” now, but that’s how I felt. “Wow! Ha! Not the far at all!” I’d said, and “Give me a call!” Who says that to complete strangers? No one. Except maybe pent up, closeted fag cocksuckers. Like me. Ugh. But I really thought–I mean, I just had this vibe from that guy, that Brett guy. He was hot. Very hot. Oh my god. He was hot. Ugh, there I go again, sounding all– Really. You don’t have to judge yourself with me. So– So don’t say “faggy.” Yeah. Okay. Well. I mean, he was hot. Heh. Very, very built, and he had a beard, and sort of a lightly hairy chest–is it okay that I talk about this part? Okay–so yeah, he was very, just, very handsome, I guess, and dad like me, and had all these rugrats running around him, including a boy about my oldest son’s age, just very much like us, and it turns out, the dude is even from nearby where we live in Michigan– Right. –right, so–so he was very, you know, straight acting, or looking, or just straight, like I am–but I had this vibe from him, like he was watching me sometimes, or just seemed to smile more than most of us do. Most of “us?” You know, us married guys. Dads. Just, regular guys. Maybe you’re not all so regular. Maybe there’s more to you than “dad.” Ha! Yeah. I mean, maybe. But so, I sort of hung back on purpose that night, when Heidi and the kids went down to this bonfire thing they’ve got at the beach, thinking, you know, maybe I’d just bump into him, too. To be honest, I did that. On purpose. Sort of–sort of wanting more than just to talk to him. You wanted– I don’t know. More than just talking. And there he was! And as soon as I saw him, this feeling just came over me, all jittery like, and floaty in my stomach, a feeling, honestly, I’ve never had before. Not with girls, not Heidi, no one. Maybe it was just nerves. But the point is, I’ve never been “nervous” around anyone, never wanted to, you know–I mean, girls have always been easy, to be honest, you know? Heh. I mean, no offense. So then what happened? Seriously, I don’t mean that, like, you’re easy, or girls are slu–that girls, or um, women, are easy in general, like sexually, just that’s been easy for me to pretty much have my pick–God, that sounds awful. So then what happened? Yeah, okay, so, we shook hands and talked about whatever, I dunno, stuff, and he kept … I dunno. Kept what? Kept smiling at me. Okay. I dunno. I liked it. Okay. So long story short, I told him to call me when we got back home. Okay. Is that wrong? I want to do shit with him. Will you? Well. I dunno. Has he called you? Well, that’s the thing–I mean, who actually takes up an offer like that? But he did. Just last week. Left a message at my work. Have you called him back? No. Do you think I should? Do you? To Be Continued … . -- source link
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