I literally just finished this one today and if you’re in for 70% angst coloured with sweet mo

I literally just finished this one today and if you’re in for 70% angst coloured with sweet moment and a happy ending between a young to-be director and a seasoned actor who’s known for his bad acting skills, this one is it for you. Honestly the original summary and the title made it seem like this would be a comedic piece but it was slightly darker than I thought, but within reason! The love between them has to be vocalized but they understand each other quietly anyway and I just LOVE.Warnings: BDSM (not the main part of the story and not between the couple), a whipping fetish (once again not between the main couple)SummaryKe Yu is a popular actor for his looks and he’s been in countless of movies over his 7 year career, but there’s a catch - everyone agrees that he sucks at acting and is unable to act out his characters well. He’s still popular because he’s absolutely good-looking, and also because of his boss, Tang Ye, who has over the years secured roles for him over and over again, in exchange for control over Ke Yu. Tang Ye is a sick, twisted man with a whipping fetish and over the years has slept and ruined countless of pretty young things by threatening/blackmailing them, and while some of these men have willingly played by Tang Ye’s game, Ke Yu only entered the entertainment industry to pay off the gambling debts of his grandpa, and ended up stuck with Tang Ye after the man drugged him and took photos of him naked, threatening to expose these pictures. If Ke Yu didn’t do as he said, and basically allow the man to do whatever he wanted with him, he’d have to pay penalty fees that he couldn’t afford if Tang Ye exposed the pictures.7 years pass by and Ke Yu finally has enough saved to pay off the penalty fee for breaking the contract with Tang Ye, ending the torturous, hellish days between them. At the same time, Ke Yu meets Shang Lu as roommates in a village - Ke Yu is immersing himself into his next role with this stay, and Shang Lu has just returned from France to begin his directorial journey. Shang Lu has an eye for talent and is able to tell that Ke Yu isn’t a good actor now, but only needs detailed guidance to get to the peak of his acting career. Ke Yu is his muse, and after spending time together for 2 weeks with mistaken identities, Ke Yu expects to never meet Shang Lu again.But they manage to find each other and get into a relationship as they work on improving Ke Yu’s acting skills, and the man debuts in Shang Lu’s very first movie, which is received with critical acclaim. Throughout this time, however, there are plenty of secrets Ke Yu is hiding: his unwilling past with Tang Ye, humiliation he doesn’t ever want to recall while the man continues to harass him, and his illness that makes him unable to imagine things visually in his head, the reason for his very stiff acting.And as all these secrets come to light, Ke Yu and Shang Lu have to overcome obstacles - Tang Ye who insists that he loves Ke Yu despite what he did to him, Shang Lu’s rich parents who want their son to be happy but prefer him to still marry a woman and Ke Yu’s past, and two people who are also chasing after Shang Lu. When his past catches up with him, Ke Yu and Shang Lu have no choice but to separate, but finding their way back to each other again after 2 years, having come to terms with themselves.*The abusive parts don’t make up the bulk of the story, and Tang Ye isn’t a crucial contender for Ke Yu’s affections as Ke Yu is very sure that what he and Tang Ye had before wasn’t love at all. Tang Ye does create crisis a few times throughout the book, but at the ultimate climax before the full breakup and reunion, he exits the story! Nothing too graphic either, but the darker sides to entertainment are fleshed out in the novel. The novel starts with Ke Yu and Shang Lu’s meeting, and all the other details of his past are revealed sporadically throughout the novel, so it’s easy to read.ReadNovel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Simplified Chinese, March 2022Characters1. 商陆 Shang Lu - At the start of the novel he’s 24 and the second son to the wealthy Shang family, looking to make his first directorial debut in China after returning from years in France. He stays in this village and rooms with this guy who he mistakenly thinks is a male prostitute, and videos his monologue, then uploading it online as a short film. He realizes that the man is an actual actor called Ke Yu, and is determined to make the man his actor, his muse. He’s an incredibly astute director and is able to tell where Ke Yu is lacking and pushing him towards it, giving the man the confidence he needs, and then when they confirm their feelings for each other, they have 3 years of a sweet relationship, working with each other, moving past Ke Yu’s inner demons, but at the end of it, he’s unable to keep Ke Yu after finding out about what Ke Yu went through with Tang Ye as the man is determined to leave him. He’s found the love of his life, and lost the love of his life, but they reunite and he moves past his fear of being abandoned by Ke Yu once again.2. 柯屿 Ke Yu - An aloof, depressed and sulky, beautiful actor who meets Shang Lu for the first time under disguise by accident, and falls in love with Shang Lu, learning to trust him and give himself to him completely after 29 years of hell, distrust and lack of warmth in his life. His grandpa is a gambler who almost sold him to brothels in Thailand when he was just a child, and was manipulated and blackmailed by a boss who he thought he could trust early on in his career with no way out as the man knows about his sick grandma, who’s living in a nursing home. He went through bouts of depression in his career and life, and when he could finally leave Tang Ye, he met Shang Lu. To him, his 29 years of hardship were worth it if it meant he could meet Shang Lu, but years of abuse and distrust made him feel inferior, and after pictures of his time with Tang Ye were sent to Shang Lu, Ke Yu ran. Shang Lu was unable to forget the photos completely, and Ke Yu couldn’t get over the fact that the part he wanted hidden most was laid out bare in front of the person he loved. Two years later, during which he focused on his career and got to a place where he could finally accept and love himself, he begins the arduous journey of chasing Shang Lu back.3. 汤野 Tang Ye - An entertainment company’s boss who has a whipping fetish and before Ke Yu, ruined many celebrities under his wing in the same way. Ke Yu however, was defiant and refused to accept him, rely on him and give himself to him throughout the years, and Tang Ye believes that despite how he’s treated him, he actually loves Ke Yu and is willing to do anything for him as long as the man allows him to control him. He tries to destroy Ke Yu’s career after he leaves the company, and even kidnaps his grandma to ensure that Ke Yu goes to meet him, and then later plays mind games with Ke Yu, because he’s sure that someone like Ke Yu can only belong with someone as twisted as him, because no normal person would love him. Other Things I Liked in the NovelUsually I don’t pick up books like these i.e. angst, separation and reunion, blackmail and multiple contenders for the main couple’s affections, but this was done really really well, you don’t get that cliche love trapezium feeling because through it all the struggle is real, the painful but irresistible love between the main couple shines throughThe suspense is incredibly real because the novel goes through pockets of scenes where the bad guys including Tang Ye try to break Shang Lu and Ke Yu up, and you can see them almost falling into the trapShang Lu and Ke Yu are really really sweet; Ke Yu’s celebrity name is Xiao Dao i.e. Little Island, and the ‘lu’ in Shang Lu means land, so they have their own secret Weibo account where Ke Yu will type “I am Little Island” and Shang Lu replies, “And I am your land.” - Even when they were not together, they used this account to cope with the loss of each other until they were reunitedIt’s really bittersweet as well because for the first time I felt a lot for Shang Lu’s childhood friend who’s always been in love with him, but because Shang Lu treats him only as a friend and due to family politics, this genius violinist never sees Shang Lu again for the rest of his life after a fall out, even though he still loves him, but he isn’t allowed to. Shang Lu used to sit in the front row of every concert he played in, and after the fall out, the man’s concerts would have an empty seat in the front row, always for Shang Lu, but they never meet again - Honestly this is pretty sad but it hurts so good because it really reflects the inevitability of time, fate and life, the people you were close to for years at some point, you may never see again even though you live in the same world, always moving in parallels onlyWhen Ke Yu tries to chase Shang Lu back, he tries everything he can - And his growth stood out to me so much from before their breakup to now, because he was always quietly insecure and ready to flee at any time, not willing to share his thoughts or come clean with Shang Lu, but after 2 years, he faces his feelings and verbalizes everything he wants, everything he’s willing to do, because he will love Shang Lu for the rest of his life even if the man found someone while they were separated, or if the man didn’t love him anymore source link

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