RATING MY CHICKSClucktimus PrimeThis wee laddie hatched late and weak - we had to help him out. As t

RATING MY CHICKSClucktimus PrimeThis wee laddie hatched late and weak - we had to help him out. As the absolute runt of the litter, his fresh-hatched photos are sooooo gawky and weird. We’re talking full eraserhead baby. He barely ate. He didn’t drink. He couldn’t walk, because his legs hadn’t formed properly. He just lay there and peeped sadly and pooped himself. But one does not raise multiple tiny dinosaurs if one is a quitter. We fed him on our finges. We wiped his bald little butt. And we wrapped a teeny-tiny shackle around his legs to align the bones properly. Now he’s totally recovered, and spends his days gorging himself and flapping about with the others!The only problem is, our TLC left him with a serious case of medical trauma. I mean, I understand. We had to pick him up and wash his poopy bum for him then gently pat him dry. We had to flip him on his back to adjust the shackle while he screamed indignantly at all of us. Multiple times.Oh, the torment. Oh, the dishonor. How could you mistreat your poor baby so?As a result, he is having to be veeeeery slowly and gently rehabilitated into loving humans again. But, much like his namesake, I’m sure he will one day come to appreciate that freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Even us.10/10, Captain America whomst??? #EggatronSupreme leader.Biggest of the lot. Oldest, too - he hatched a whole 24 hours early, so we had to take him out of the incubator and fluff him up and feed him while the others were still pecking through their eggs. Which meant he got handled a whole lot from the get-go. Which means he thinks he’s people. He WILL climb on your lap and you WILL pet him. This is non-negotiable.11/10#RatchickAnxiety, thy name is Ratchick.Thinks she’s camouflaged because she has woodland colouring, but forgets that she spends half her time in a cage in our living room. We can see you, buddy. Knocking off a few points because she’s the loudest screecher of the lot. I am now 97% more likely to develop hearing loss and it’s entirely this chicken’s fault.7/10#Bantambee Baby. 20/10#StarsquawkOh yeah, she looks real cute. Sure, she runs right up to you whenever you open the cage and hops onto your hand. Okay, she snuggles into your warmth and looks up at you with big beautiful eyes. And then she poops on you.She poops everywhere.This hen is a professional shitsassin. She poops viciously and without remorse. Down your sleeve, on your hand, every chance she gets. Then she screams, bites you and run away. 5/10, she’s awful but I love her and I will let her poop on me again#Rejected puns: Archeep, Pfowl (Prowl), Thunderquacker (wrong bird), Skysquawk, Cycl-hen-us, Cockwave (I’m sorry) -- source link

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