blackthornesforest:a-dominant-man: morethankink:Sub drop is a bitch. So far I’ve only experien
blackthornesforest:a-dominant-man: morethankink:Sub drop is a bitch. So far I’ve only experienced it with one play partner and when it happened it always hit me pretty hard. What surprised me is that it occured even though I never reached sub space with him. Still, often after the scenes I would crash with a force. It felt like the floor was gone from beneath me and I was dropped into a big black hole. I felt empty, sad for a reason I couldn’t name, and not at all cozy and satisfied. He always asked me if I was okay and I always said yes. At the time I didn’t know what else to say, how to describe to him what I was experiencing. It didn’t make sense. I didn’t understand what was happening to me as I didn’t think it was possible to experience sub drop without having reached sub space prior to it. I realize I shouldn’t have lied to him but back then I felt too vulnerable and didn’t want him near me when it happened. Always remember: 1. Communication is key. 2. Aftercare is important. Though not on that side of the coin, I know well that sub drop can be devastating. It has no correlation with reaching that place called ‘sub-space’ and can happen DAYS afterward. From a dominant’s perspective I want.. I need to know when this might be happening. Even if one can’t articulate the feeling or the why, simply saying that something is not ‘right’ is all that is needed. Though a dominant type can’t fix it they can be there with a shoulder and an ear. This is even so much more important in an LDR situation as distance means that the visual queues that something is wrong are muted and go unseen. So please, speaking as a dominant type, tell us some how. Use small words because we might not be very bright, usually aren’t. We won’t be able to fix it but we can do what we are supposed to do. Be there in any way we can. Sub drop can happen in an instant, or over time. It might be triggered by a big emotional breakthrough, or just a busy day. But it is sometimes so hard to find the words to say, “I need You” in the middle of the despair. Just remember: you are loved. Devotional Training: Truism. -- source link
#truism