say-no-to-the-o:SAY NO TO THE O ORGASM RELATIONAL CONTINUUMINTRODUCTIONAfter exhaustive interviews w

say-no-to-the-o:SAY NO TO THE O ORGASM RELATIONAL CONTINUUMINTRODUCTIONAfter exhaustive interviews with over 3000 women, ages 18-56, from 42 countries, Say No To The O Researchers have identified four categories of women that make up the Say No To The O Sisterhood: Orgasm Whores, Denial Sluts, Good Girls, and Achievers/Lifers. No category is superior to another, nor are they mutually exclusive. Rather, they lie on a continuum that represents the relationship of the Say No To The O Sisters to orgasm. A Sister may fall on any part of the continuum, jump from one part to another, or even move incrementally up or down the continuum as her relationship to orgasm changes. That is, a given Sister may start out a confirmed Orgasm Whore but move toward being a Denial Slut as she begins to prefer intense, prolonged, sexual stimulation over the immediate release of an orgasm. For a variety of reasons (e.g., relationship status, time constraints), Sisters have been observed making radical shifts on the continuum. For instance, a confirmed Denial Slut may revert back to being an Orgasm Whore when she is not involved in a relationship with a real-life or virtual sexual partner.It is important to note the following: the four categories described below are completely independent from the many sexual fantasies that are common across the World Wide Web of Female Orgasm Denial. They are unrelated to fantasies of misogyny, patriarchy, female inferiority, female subservience, female oppression, male dominance, humiliation, cuckoldry, female circumcision, and so forth. While those fantasies – or even practices – may be incorporated into the life of a particular Sister, they were not factors in development of categories or the continuum. The categories are based solely on the relationships of the Say No To The O Sisters to their orgasms. All other factors were excluded in their development.ORGASM WHORESOrgasm Whores make up the majority of women in the generation population. They are generally regarded by the Sisterhood as self-indulgent, orgasm addicts, who lack the self-control and self-discipline to abstain from orgasm. They are known to end nearly every sexual encounter – either alone or with a sexual partner – with at least one full orgasm.Nearly every member of the Say No To The O Sisterhood reported being an Orgasm Whore at some point in her life. Nearly every Orgasm Whore reported – at some point in her life – an inability to abstain from orgasm for even a single session of masturbation or sexual encounter. Nearly every Orgasm Whore reported inducing multiple orgasms during each session of masturbation for extended periods of time in the past (sometimes as many as 10+ orgasms per day 7 days per week for many years). All Orgasm Whores reported great difficulty in delaying, postponing, or skipping orgasms during their earliest attempts at doing so. This was observed in all Sisters, regardless of their level of sexual experience with real-life sex partners (which varied from no sexual contact to sustained sexual relationships).With rare exceptions, most Sisters reported becoming Orgasm Whores during their teenage years. Most became confirmed Orgasm Whores between the ages of 15-17, with outliers starting as early as 11-12 years old or as late as their mid twenties. In most cases – but not all – Sisters reported decreased pleasure from orgasms as 1) the number of orgasms per day increased or 2) the number lifetime orgasms increased. Orgasms that were “boring,” “blah,” or “unfulfilling” were often cited as the impetus to experiment with delayed sexual gratification, combined with increased sexual stimulation. On average, most Orgasm Whores reported between 800-2.000 orgasms per year, with a few reporting 3.000+ orgasms per year.Some Orgasm Whores self-identify as Denial Sluts because they enjoy long sessions of prolonged, intense masturbation as a way to increase the intensity of the orgasm that they will eventually have (which might be hours or days away). These would-be Denial Sluts are really just Orgasm Whores who postpone orgasms to make them more pleasurable. Many will become Denial Sluts. They would be placed somewhere between Orgasm Whore and Denial Slut on the Orgasm Relational Continuum, which can subdivided into the following subcategories: orgasm whore, playful teasing, edging, intense edging, ruined orgasms, and finally full denial slut.Orgasm Whores rarely remain Orgasm Whores once they have experienced multiple episodes of extended, intense sexual stimulation without orgasm. They will continue to finitize about and long for repeated and/or extended periods of intense sexual stimulation without orgasm. This transformation generally takes about 30 days. However, it has been observed in as little as 7-10 days. Newcomers are advised to be aware of the likelihood of this transformation if they explore increased sexual stimulation, combined with reducing/eliminating orgasms. Of note, rarely do newcomers heed this warning nor do they express regret after the transformation.The Sisterhood does not view Orgasm Whores as “normal” because doing so implies that non-Orgasm Whores are in someway “abnormal.” However, Orgasm Whores are known to look down on or be perplexed by the behavior of their Sisters (i.e., Denial Sluts, Good Girls, and especially Achievers/Lifers). They do so because Orgasm Whores can rarely fathom sexual pleasure beyond that of having an orgasm, much less the benefits of prolonged abstinence from orgasms. As a result some Orgasm Whores – even those in the kink community – have been known to accuse the Say No To The O Sisters of being the victims of inconsiderate, self-absorbed, or abusive lovers (or worse yet, predators).Denial Sluts, Good Girls, and Achievers/Lifers have been observed taunting Orgasm Whores for having orgasms, but only in a good-natured, fun way. For instance, at the Say No To The O Sorority, the Sorority Sisters were frequently observed awarding their Orgasm Whore counterparts a “Badge of Shame” (known as a Scarlet O) to the delight of the “shamed” Orgasm Whore. Orgasm Whores were frequently observed asking for a Scarlet O, following an orgasm the previous night to the delight of Denial Sluts. In general Denial Sluts, Good Girls, and Achievers/Lifers are supportive of Orgasm Whores, encouraging them to sample the many benefits and pleasures of edging and reducing/eliminating orgasms.Some Orgasm Whores report having difficulty reaching orgasm for a variety of reasons, ranging from inexperience to feelings of shame to complete anorgasmia. Because this subset wants to have orgasms – just like their orgasm-achieving counterparts – they are classified as Orgasm Whores on the continuum. This inability to induce orgasm is generally regarded as problematic by Orgasm Whores. However this subset often finds the difficulty in or inability to induce orgasm advantageous, because it allows them to masturbate harder and longer than their Sisters who are able to have orgasms.Orgasm Whore Analogy: Orgasm Whores are like unsupervised children in a candy store. They will eat as much candy as possible with no awareness of or regard for the impact of doing so.DENIAL SLUTSDenial Sluts want to have their orgasms withheld from them. They become aroused by being deprived of orgasm. They enjoy being teased and taunted about not being allowed to have orgasms. They want to be promised an orgasm only to be told at the last moment that they must wait until tomorrow, next week, or perhaps forever. Denial sluts still want orgasms; they just do not want to be allowed to have them. They are sexually aroused by having their orgasms controlled by another person. Many like to earn orgasms by completing tasks (e.g., housework, homework, chores, masturbating to the point of orgasm then stopping a certain number of times, etc.). They are known to like or prefer “ruined orgasms,” which deny them the full pleasure of an full orgasm.Denial Sluts are known to become sexually aroused while watching Orgasm Whores who 1) have repeated self-induced orgasms, 2) are made to have orgasms by a partner, or 3) are forced to have orgasms by a partner either as punishment or for the partner’s pleasure. Many Denial Sluts fantasize about permanent denial. However, these fantasies are not based on the benefits of extended periods or permanent denial. Instead they are based on the thrill Denial Sluts get at the thought of not having another.A common refrain among Denial Sluts is “I love that I hate it and I hate that I love it.” For Denial Sluts, the thought of never being allowed to orgasm again is both distressing and sexually arousing. Furthermore, the simultaneous presence of these conflicting emotions increases the intensity of each. That is, the more sexually aroused a Denial Slut becomes the more fearful she will be. This increased fear of never having orgasms again will, in turn, increase the sexual arousal she experiences. This phenomenon is never present in Orgasm Whores, Good Girls, or Achievers/Lifers, making it a defining feature for Denial Sluts.The thought of losing the ability to have an orgasm or being unable to remember what an orgasm feels like (a state know as Orgasm Amnesia) is a standard fantasy of Denial Sluts. Many experienced Denial Sluts will report their bodies have been so conditioned that they are unable to have an orgasm when they are given the chance. This inability to do the thing that they want to do (i.e., have an orgasm) produces two co-occurring outcomes: 1) a heightened fear that they will never have another orgasm again and 2) a sexual thrill at the thought of never having another orgasm. Many Denial Sluts fantasize about a full or partial clitorectomy (not to be confused with female genital mutilation), which is the ultimate form of orgasm denial. [Editor’s note: There are no credible reports from a member of the Say No To The O Sisterhood of this actually happening.]After 100 days of frequent, intense masturbation without orgasm, most Denial Sluts will start to fantasize about an orgasm-free life. 100 days is generally regarded as the point where the thrill of constant arousal, sexual frustration, and pre-occupation with orgasm starts to become secondary to the newfound feelings of self-confidence, improved self-image, clarity of thought, etc. When encouraged to extend beyond 100 days, two-thirds will express the desire to remain orgasm-free for an extended period of time, usually to a period of one year. Of those who reach one year without orgasms, half will choose to be orgasm-free permanently. Of those who choose to be orgasm-free permanently, half will remain orgasm-free beyond two years. Sisters who extend beyond two years rarely return to having orgasms, except under extreme conditions.In general, the transformation from Orgasm Whore to Denial Slut happens incrementally as a Sister increases the frequency and intensity of sexual stimulation, while increasing the length of time between orgasms. That is, an Orgasm Whore may start out trying to remain orgasm-free for one day, but end up extending until day 10. On day 10, she may choose to extend to day 30. On day 100 she may extend to one year. Nearly every Achiever/Lifer followed this path of transformation from Orgasm Whore to the complete elimination of orgasms.While most Denial Sluts will not reach 100 days, nearly every Orgasm Whore – who extends the length of time between orgasms, while increasing the frequency and intensity of sexual stimulation – will become a Denial Slut. With rare exception, this is acceptable and desirable. In general, this transformation happens between 14-30 days but has been observed among sisters in as little as 7-10 days when they were paired with supportive and encouraging partners or peers. Even when a Denial Slut returns to behaving like an Orgasm Whore, she will continue to fantasize about being a Denial Slut. When she finds a suitable and supportive sex partner, she will return to her preferred state of being a Denial Slut. With the loss of supportive sex partners, most Denial Sluts will revert back to being Orgasm Whores until a suitable sex partner can be found. Some continue to self-limit their orgasms, usually with some difficulty. Others will continue to ruin most or all orgasms.Sooner or later, nearly all Denial Sluts will exhibit the characteristics of the Good Girl, because frequent and intense masturbation without an orgasm causes a sharp increase in feelings of and the desire to be obedient and submissive. Unlike Good Girls, Denial Sluts immediately loose the feelings of and the desire to be obedient and submissive as soon as they have an orgasm. With rare exception, the newfound obedient and submissive tendencies are so desirable to Denial Sluts that they will report a sense of loss when these submissive tendencies disappear following an orgasm. Because of this increased desire to be obedient and submissive, Denial Sluts are cautioned to play with trustworthy partners who act in their best interest.Denial Sluts (who exhibit submissive behavior as a result of prolonged sexual excitement) will channel their pent-up sexual energy into pleasing their sex partners. This is done for a variety of reasons, examples of which are 1) sexually satisfied partners are less likely to give into their begging, 2) sexually satisfied partners are less likely to induce or require orgasms, 3) Denial Sluts enjoy the increased emotional and physical connection with their partners, and 4) Denial Sluts take pleasure in pleasing partners who do not allow them the pleasure of orgasm in return.A state of sexually-induced submission can be confusing for sex partners, who do not understand the subtle difference between Denial Sluts (i.e., those who are submissive as a result of prolonged sexual excitement) and Good Girls who are submissive by nature. These sex partners must remember that Denials Sluts want to beg and plead for orgasms (but be told no), whereas as a Good Girl wants someone else to decide (regardless of what she wants). In the case of Denial Sluts (who exhibit submissive behavior as a result of prolonged sexual excitement), they still do not want to have orgasms. Denials Sluts do not want the orgasm they want, whereas Good Girls want what their partners want.When paired with a sex partner who is unable/unwilling to withhold the orgasm she does not want, Denial Sluts may experience/express feelings of disappointment, frustration, irritation, or anger at the partner’s inability/unwillingness to do so. In an attempt to avoid or eliminate orgasms, it is common for the Denial Slut to use fellatio, anal sex, or faked orgasms to distract a sex partner (usually a man) who wants the Denial Slut to have orgasms for his sexual gratification. Distraction techniques are rarely used in lesbian relationships.Denial Sluts frequently report feelings of regret, shame, loss of interest in sex, and other symptoms of Post-Orgasmic Distress Disorder (PODD) after an orgasm more frequently than Good Girls (who experience PODD about half the time). Say No To The O Researchers were unable identify a satisfactory explanation for this due to an insufficient sample size and lack of a control groups.Denial Slut Analogy: #1 - Denial Sluts are like children being tickled by a parent. They beg, scream and writhe to escape the tickle-torture only to beg the parent to “do it again!” #2 - Denial Sluts want to be forced to smell a freshly cooked pizza while they are famished. They want to be promised the last piece. At the last possible second they want the last piece of a delicious pizza to be dropped in the dirt before their very eyes.GOOD GIRLSGood Girls do not want to have orgasms unless they are told, made, or forced to have them. When they do have orgasms, they generally find them pleasurable and express gratitude to the sex partners that permitted them to have the orgasm. However, if given the choice to have a full orgasm, half of Good Girls will either choose to not have an orgasm or choose to “ruin” the orgasm. Good Girls commonly report they would prefer fewer or even no orgasms at all, but will have one if they are told to do so. This group of Good Girls fall between Good Girl and Achiever/Lifer on the Orgasm-Relational Continuum. A smaller group of Good Girls report they would like be Orgasm Whores, but avoid orgasms to please their sex partners.Good Girls masturbate regularly to keep their arousal levels high but channel that sexual energy elsewhere – usually into serving a real-life or virtual sex partner. They know that an orgasm will end the benefits that come from not having orgasms, but are willing do so to please a their partners. Good Girls, who still have orgasms, generally report that three to six orgasms per year are sufficient, but add that the decision is entirely up to the individual who is in control of their orgasms. They are known to advocate for fewer orgasms – because they feel emotionally and physically better without them – even though doing so is in conflict of their desire to let the partner decide.Knowing that another person is in charge of the decision to have orgasms is freeing. It reduces the stress of having to decide when, if, how, or how often a Good Girl has an orgasm. Without a sex partner to take ownership of her orgasms, a Good Girl will likely return to being an Orgasm Whore, until a desirable partner – who will take ownership of her orgasms – can be found. While this temporary return to being an Orgasm Whore may be agreeable, they continue to harbor a deep-seated desire to return to a life as a Good Girl. For this reason, a Good Girl rarely returns to being an Orgasm Whore permanently.On the whole, Good Girls do not make good Denial Sluts. While Denial Sluts want to be teased and taunted by the individuals who are in charge of their orgasms, Good Girl do not want a say in the matter. While Denial Sluts want to beg for an orgasm only to be told no, Good Girls just want to be told yes or no, with little or no input for what they want – even when it undermines the sense of well-being they experience from not having orgasms.About two-thirds of Good Girls report their bodies are so conditioned to not have orgasms that they are either 1) unable to have an orgasm or 2) have difficulty inducing orgasm when they are given the chance. Good Girls do not find the inability to have orgasms sexually thrilling the way that Denial Sluts do. Rather it is an accepted and acceptable as a natural state of being. Good Girls rarely attempt to retrain or recondition their bodies to have orgasms. When they are successful at doing so, they do not experience it as a loss the way many Denials Sluts do.Good Girls are known to exhibit signs and symptoms of Post-Orgasmic Distress Disorder (PODD) following an orgasm but this is not universal. About half the time, Good Girls report feelings of regret, shame, and other signs and symptoms of PODD after an orgasm – even though they had permission or were told to have the orgasm. About half report no or minimal symptoms of PODD. Good Girls who have orgasms without permission always express great remorse for failing themselves and/or their sex partners. In almost all instances, they will ask for and accept a suitable punishment from their sex partners.Frequent and intense masturbation without orgasm intensifies feelings of and the desire to be obedient and submissive that are already present in Good Girls. Because of this increased desire to be obedient, Good Girls are cautioned to play with trustworthy partners who act in their best interest. An orgasm will reduce obedience and submissive tendencies but does not eliminate them, because submissiveness is an underlying trait not a by-product of intense, prolonged, sexual stimulation. This is a major difference between Good Girls and Denial Sluts, whose increased obedience and submissiveness is the result of increased masturbation and the elimination of orgasms.Editor’s Note: On the Say No To The O Orgasm Relational Continuum, the term Good Girl applies only the Sister’s relationship to orgasm. It should not be confused with other definitions of the term that can refer to anything from being well-behaved to sexually submissive to completely submissive in all areas of her life. Many Good Girls (as defined by the Orgasm Relations Continuum) do not exhibit submissive characteristics in other areas of their lives.Good Girl Analogy: A Good Girl is like an obedient dog. No matter how much she wants to play, she will lie contentedly at her owner’s feet until the owner decides when, where, how, or if she will play.ACHIEVERS/LIFERSAchievers/Lifers are women who choose to live orgasm-free lives. They do not acknowledge that they are being denied anything (thus they are not Denial Sluts) nor do they want to be told or allowed to have them (thus they are not Good Girls). They have achieved a level of emotional well-being and self-satisfaction that is more highly valued than the most intense orgasm possible. This is the result of the elimination of orgasms combined with long-term, sustained sexual stimulation. Achievers/Lifers are not orgasm avoidant. Instead, they have chosen the benefits and pleasures of not having orgasms over the temporary pleasure of having orgasms. These Sisters report a variety of benefits that may include the following: increased self-esteem, self-control, and self-satisfaction; decreased melancholia and anxiety; improved performance, concentration, and motivation; feeling sexier, more desirable, more independent, and more accomplished; and improved sexual, familial, and personal relationships. They report that the longer they remain orgasm-free and sexually stimulated the more permanent and long-lasting the changes become. Results vary from Sister to Sister.Some Achievers/Lifers may find that the benefits of eliminating orgasms may lessen if they are unable to maintain sufficient levels of sexual arousal. However, they rarely resort to inducing orgasm to compensate for this temporary change in their overall sense of well-being and self-satisfaction. In general, this flattening of emotions is connected to the lack or loss of a real life partner, excessive stress, or other unsatisfactory life circumstances.Like Achievers/Lifers, Denial Sluts and Good Girls regularly report the positive effects of increasing sexual arousal and eliminating orgasm. Among Denial Sluts, these desirable feelings and experiences cease after a single orgasm and may take weeks to regain. Among Good Girls, this loss is less dramatic, because much of their self-concept was related to being obedient and submissive. That is, self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and so forth were not wholly dependent on being orgasm-free. [Editor’s note: the benefits of being orgasm-free are regularly observed among most Denial Sluts and Good Girls, sometimes in as little as two weeks. However, this is not universal.]Just like Good Girls, Achievers/Lifers use intense and frequent masturbation to keep their arousal levels high but channel that sexual energy elsewhere. They will not risk the disruption that orgasm causes to their lives in exchange for the most intense orgasm, nor will they do so for the pleasure of a sex partner. This is a major difference that distinguishes them from Good Girls. The permanent and voluntary discontinuation of orgasms is a defining characteristic of Achievers/Lifers. It is not observed among any group on the continuum.Most Achievers/Lifers eventually report total orgasm amnesia, having completely forgotten what an orgasm feels like. The inability to remember what an orgasm feels like is considered desirable among all Achievers/Lifers. Many report that their bodies have become so resistant to orgasm that inducing orgasm is extremely difficult to impossible. Rarely does an Achiever/Lifer return to being an Orgasm Whore or Denial Slut, although she may adopt the lifestyle of a Good Girl, when she is in a relationship with a partner (usually with a man) who needs the validation of her orgasm to prove his virality or sexual prowess. Would-be Achievers/Lifers will sometimes masquerade as a Denial Slut to please a partner (usually a man) who desires a woman who can satisfy his need to induce orgasms for his own pleasure. This has been observed in lesbian couples as well. These sexual relationships are generally unsatisfactory, resulting in resentment by the Sister of the sex partner, whom she sees as undermining her well-being. Some Achievers/Lifers will resort to fellatio, anal sex, and faking orgasms as a way of maintaining their chosen lifestyle when paired with a sex partner (usually a man) who wants her to have orgasms for his sexual gratification. Distraction techniques are rarely used in lesbian relationships.In rare instances, Achievers/Lifers have been known to return to having frequent orgasms but only after traumatic life experiences (e.g., lose of a long-term life partner, natural disasters, excessive stress, etc.). Each of those Sisters expressed a great sense of loss when they did. In only one instance was an Achiever/Lifer observed purposefully attempting to be an Orgasm Whore again. Despite six months of multiple, daily orgasms, she was unable to do so. She eventually abandoned orgasms permanently. Two years later, she continued to express regret over that six month period.Achiever/Lifer analogy: Achievers/Lifers are like former alcoholics who no longer have a relationship with alcohol. They are not willing to risk the hard earned benefits of sobriety to imbibe with their best friends who are drinking the most expensive liquor at the world’s best party. FINAL THOUGHTSEach woman must – through experimentation – find the relationship to orgasm that works best for her individual preference, life circumstances, genetic makeup, emotional constitution, and sexual relationships. When she does, she will likely find the experience transformative, making sex more fun, satisfying, and fulfilling in ways that chasing the perfect orgasm cannot. The role of a caring partner is to support her through this journey of self-discovery. Enjoy! EDITOR’S NOTES Women – who have difficulty achieving orgasm or experience anorgasmia – often find solace or success when they stop defining themselves as being defective, inferior, or suffering from a disorder. By learning to “flip the script,” they often find their “defect” is a benefit that allows them to sexually stimulate themselves for many hours without worrying about having an orgasm.Women who were sex avoidant, lacked a functioning libido, or had no desire to have sex or masturbate were excluded from the study. The most common factors were related to emotional trauma, medication problems, religious affiliation, and/or age. It is worth noting that all of these women were followers of Say No To The O and agreed to participate in interviews.A small group of women – who had a desire to reduce the number or frequency of orgasms – reported an increase in emotional problems after reducing the frequency of orgasms. In almost all cases, there was a previously-diagnosed, underlying emotional disorder for which they had received professional treatment. A second, small group of women reported an increase in headaches, migraines, emotional instability, anxiety, irritability or anger, etc. as a result of reducing the frequency of orgasms. In all cases, an orgasm eliminated the identified problems and returned them to their original state. For both of these groups, extended periods without orgasm are contraindicated. However, in all cases, both groups of women expressed the desire to identify the minimum number of orgasms and maximum number of days/weeks between orgasms before the onset of problems. The optimal range of days/weeks varied widely from a several days to three months. CITATION: Prudence Langtree, et al., Say No To The O Journal of Female Sexuality. December, 2020.According to this definition I am definitely a Good Girl -- source link

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