carmillaisalesbian: tw emotional abuse, eating disorders, self harm, cancer cw Okay I hate to do thi
carmillaisalesbian: tw emotional abuse, eating disorders, self harm, cancer cw Okay I hate to do this again but it’s my last resort As some of you might know this year has been absolutely awful for me and my mother, she had to go through a complicated and lengthy treatment for brain cancer, luckily most of it was paid by the government owned oil company she works for, but still we had to spend a LOT of money on the stuff they didn’t cover, ever since her first cancer diagnosis about 4 years ago we had to move here to this little town in the south of mexico where my mom is from, so she could be close to her family, unfortunately we have not been able to leave, not after she went into remission the first time and not this time. Money has always been tight for us, but things have not been this bad ever since my father left and took all our money leaving us homeless when I was 5, the state owned oil company my mom works for is being severely affected by the energetic reforms imposed by the current administration, temporary workers like my mom were being hired for about one month out of every 2, the last 6 months that went to a month long contract every 3 months and just today all temporary workers like my mom were notified that they will not be hired anymore until maybe summer of next year. Even though my mental illness makes it difficult for me to hold a job and esp now I started (long distance) college and i have the pressure to maintain a 80% average score on all my classes to keep my scholarship, I have tried time and time to find a job, even a minimum wage one to be able to save enough money to leave but i simply can’t find one, very few places are hiring and those very few like subway and local supermarkets simply don’t ever call me back. To say out situation is desperate doesn’t begin to describe it, we had to leave our house cause even though last time i made a donation post i got enough to pay the late months eventually we couldn’t pay anymore, with absolutely no other choice we had to move into my aunt’s spare service room (bottom pic) that not only is barely 3 x 3 meters, but we have to endure cockroaches and rat plagues and the room flooding everytime it rains (which makes me really worried about my mom’s health since we sleep on the floor) but the worst of all, we have to endure our family’s emotional abuse. I’ve posted a lot about it since there can’t be a day where they don’t do something awful, from little insidious comments about my mom’s physical health, like saying she deserved/earned cancer, or her age, telling her things like her life is over now that she’s 50 and that all she can aspire to now is living in this rat infested room from my aunt’s charity so she shouldn’t even try anything else, to the way they openly despise me and while they claim they don’t believe i’m mentally ill they often steal or hide my things to then deny i ever had them to make me believe i’m imagining things or they withhold food from us or lock us out of the house/inside of the room continuously, basically we just can’t stand a day more here, it’s literally destroying us, my mother has daily headaches, cries every night and can never sleep, i’ve basically fallen back into all my self destructive behaviors i was so proud of leaving behind like cutting, drinking and smoking and given the power these people have over our food my ed is completely out of control to the point im seriously concerned about my health because of all the dizziness and cold sweats i get. Like i said, our situation is desperate, like never before. My mom’s current and last contract ends in nov 13, we absolutely need to get out of here, but it would be pointless to just move to another house/apartment if we don’t have a way to pay for it, which is why we need to move to Tijuana, where we lived before. Unlike this small town that lives only from the state owned oil company, Tijuana is a big and diverse city with a lot of job opportunities, esp for someone bilingual like me but even for someone my mom’s age, there’s also a lot of more affordable and flexible housing options like trailer parks, and public hospitals where me and my mom could get the medical care we need. With all we’ve been saving we only need about 5000 (about 302 dollars with the current exchange) pesos to move there, mostly because tijuana is so far away we need to take a 10 hour bus ride and a 3 hours flight and that is pricey, but also to have some money for food until I get my first paycheck and in between the checks I get from my scholarship. I know I’ve asked for help before, and I also know there’s people who are in even more desperate situations than us, but I truly wouldn’t do this if i had any other choice, but my father has refused to help me in any way and there’s no one else we can borrow money from cause well we owe a lot already (about 80k pesos), truly anything, 1 or 2 dollars help, if not to buy the tickets at least for a meal, there’s a donation button on my blog, and my paypal is cats.and.lollipops@gmail.com (don’t laugh) and please please, if this post annoys you or upset you just block it or block me but please do refrain from sending mean anons, thanks a lot. -- source link
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