lovestephiestuff: degradedsissy1: This is a scene to which all sissies will relate. In front of a mi

lovestephiestuff: degradedsissy1: This is a scene to which all sissies will relate. In front of a mirror, dressed as sexily as possible in girlie clothes, stockings, heels, nail polish, face painstakingly made up to exude as feminine an image as possible. As the sissy manipulates itself to a crescendo, it is making love to the woman in the mirror. Yet it is also being her - not just caressing her sheer stockings and soft feminine clothing as a male lover might, but also being in them and feeling the sensations of wearing them, feeling what she is feeling as she is being ravished. It is the absolute pinnacle of narcissism. But once the climax has passed and it is covered in a wet, sticky mess, it will no longer see the sexy, attractive woman, that it had so painstakingly created, in its mirror. What it will see is a man, itself, in stockings, makeup high heels and nail polish. Without the arousal it suddenly sees itself as others in the vanilla world might see it - as a perverse contradiction. Filled with guilt, shame and self-loathing, it will as quickly as possible remove its make-up and nail polish; discard its girlie clothes and take a shower, thinking that somehow it has washed this perversity away. It will dress in its boy clothes again, convincing itself that now it is its “real” self again. But this will barely last an hour - at the most, a few hours. As soon as it sees an attractive, seductively dressed woman, it will again be aroused. If it is honest with itself it will conceded that it does not want to have her, but rather wants to be her - to be wearing her pantyhose; her high heels; her short pleated skirt, her satin blouse. It may even go out and buy clothes just like hers. As soon as the opportunity presents, it will be back before a mirror and the cycle will start over. Eventually, it will reconcile itself with the reality that it’s “real” self is not the man it will again try to be once it has climaxed, full of revulsion after its climax, and once it has shed the feminine image and reverted to its male “self”. It will realise that its real self is the effeminate sissy in the skirt and the stockings and the high heels. Many sissies eventually come to accept this and terminate this viscious cycle by subjecting themselves to permanent chastity. Being locked into a secure chastity device, the sissy will never again have these ejaculations that empty it of its desires. It takes many years of repetition of this cycle, for most sissies, before they reconcile themselves with the uncomfortable reality that they are sissies and always will be. Like most sissies, this sissy will come to terms with the fact that its natural state is one of emasculation and femininity. It will learn to live with the stares and whisper and with the shame. It will also come to understand that, for a sissy, the real high point is the journey, not the very temporary climax at the destination. The latter, really just brings the journey to an end, for a while. In a sense never reaching its destination is a metaphor for a sissy, for the sissy starts off with the physiology of a man, but fails to be the man it was born to be - it never reaches that destination. Then it tries to emulate the women it so fantasizes over, but can never quite be the real woman it fantasizes itself to be. Again, it fails to reach its destination. The sissy floats about in a kind of sexual gender void. Overtime, it comes to understand that, for all of the social difficulties that come with that, this is its natural state, where it is liberated from feeling that it can be and needs to be someone it is not, and can never be. Permanent chastity in important ingredient and corollary of this state of being. Scarily accurate ….. all sissies are faced with a similar prognosis but choose to accept it or deny it to different degrees ….. certainly the further we go, the more we are drawn in. -- source link
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