geekandmisandry:Back in the 1980s, when the world was still flat and the most cutting-edge technolog
geekandmisandry:Back in the 1980s, when the world was still flat and the most cutting-edge technology was a Bonds Hypercolour T-shirt, there stood a more innocent age.In those days, a pubescent boy’s best hope for a good time was whatever page of a porno Sammy Lukidadis had stuck on the school timetable that day or, failing that, the latest Cher video.The general idea, one gathered, was that you were supposed to merely fantasise about famous women with their clothes off. Now we have a whole generation of teenage boys fantasising about Miley Cyrus putting some clothes on.Notwithstanding our beloved Miley’s efforts in wrecking balls the world over, it now appears that walking down a red carpet wearing anything more than a smile and a nice pair of shoes is decidedly passé.This certainly seemed to be the case at the Grammys the other week, at which even the impregnable Taylor Swift arrived on the red carpet several minutes before the rest of her outfit did.There was also someone called “Manika” – named, one can only presume, after the popular Canberra suburb – covered only by what might best be described as a careful assembly of earrings.Of course, I’m not judging – my first thought was: “Where do they put the car keys?” – but it did prompt in me a twinge of sympathy for the 21st-century teenage boy. What now is left for his lonely and fervoured imagination?Certainly, it’s an odd paradox. In the old days, venerated literary institutions such as Playboy would spend millions trying to get stars to take their clothes off. Now many a star’s career begins with a sex tape and ends with them wearing more clothes than a Tongan on his first trip to Finland. Surely we’ve got it all backwards?At least some stars seem to be getting the order right, and a big hats off to Susan Sarandon for her contribution to the space-time continuum. Indeed, to her credit, it wasn’t just the hats that were off that day.The uncannily well-preserved actress made heads turn faster than an owl on an ice bender when she rocked up to the SAG Awards with a cleavage that by now probably has its own newspaper column.While the teenage boys of 2016 were probably left less with a sense of arousal than a referral to a Freudian psychoanalyst, Sarandon at least did the classy thing by making the audience wait for the headline act. Thousands of confused adolescents left wondering what had happened to Janet [her Rocky Horror Picture Show character] after the spaceship departed for Transylvania, finally got their answer.And, of course, our previously mentioned friend Cher also timed her run perfectly. There’s nothing that says rejuvenation like receiving an Oscar dressed in a fraying cobweb or straddling a navy destroyer in a G-banger.But as for the new crop of starlets, I must confess I do worry they’ve played their hand too soon. The unbendable laws of physics clearly state there are only so many layers of clothes one can remove before one has to consider a career in country music.Don’t get me wrong – I’m no prude. Indeed, I first saw a woman’s naked body at age 16. I only wish it wasn’t my mother’s.Rather, I’m probably just an old fool nostalgic for that innocent age when the glimpse of skin was something bargained and begged for and which belonged in the realm of teenage dreams.If I could turn back time… [x]This is a whole rant about how women’s bodies are destroying men’s fantasies. I can’t even fucking believe this shit. -- source link