motherhoodrising:sometimes as a mother I feel like I’ve done it all wrong. And instead of cleaning u
motherhoodrising:sometimes as a mother I feel like I’ve done it all wrong. And instead of cleaning up the mess I’m trying to run as far away as possible. Lately I can’t handle the amount of neediness this kid has, mostly for me, his mama. Or that he’s so sensitive to every little thing. I’m selfish. The cries are like nails of a chalk board that leave me so quickly frustrated. Everything is ok!…But maybe to him it’s not ok. I can’t decide his feelings for him. I know this. Maybe he’s not feelings heard. Just like I feel like I’m not being heard. Maybe I’ve sheltered him too much. Kept him too close while pushing away at the same time. Maybe I’ve gave in too much, not stood my ground and set boundaries.. You know..the boundaries that adults set for the babies who are expected to be adults… Maybe comparing you to much to those easy kids that never make a fuss. There’s a chance I’ve created this whole thing. A world that feels so dark and unstable. Does he feel feel it too? The discontentment. The heaviness. The loneliness. I can’t blame or shame him for how big his needs are or the emotion he feels. How can I. I feel them too. Just so differently. This push and pull of light and darkness. I’m sorry little one for how far away I must feel half the time. No wonder you cry out. No wonder you latch on so tightly and won’t let go. I have this feeling you might be trying to say, “I’m here and I hear you. I’m here and I love you. I can feel you. And we can do it together. I won’t leave you.” And as I lay here, you locked to my breast.. In the silence.. I can hear you and I’m sorry. - @gkiddskygazer {Share your moments of motherhood ✨ #motherhoodrising} -- source link
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