*please take a moment to take a deep breath, ask yourself the above question, and choose the item yo
*please take a moment to take a deep breath, ask yourself the above question, and choose the item you are most drawn towards*item 1: flirt with me, flirt with me, flirt with me, gimme all of your attention!!! you guys like for your romantic connections to feed your ego, gas you up, serve as a pleasant distraction, you really want all the extra stuff that comes from the relationship rather than dealing with the relationship itself. you should be striving for more substantial effort in your romantic connections, instead of having temporary ego feeds you should be wanting more proof in the pudding. instead of mindless indulging, which again only leaves you hungry for more plus chocolate is only a substitute for the real thing, you could be appreciating the process - “making bonbons is a multistep process that takes patience, time, and skill.” questions to ask yourself when involved: do you feel prioritized? do you feel like they’re demonstrating that they’re willing to take those steps towards making this a fulfilling connection for the both of you? are they really stepping up to the plate? are you both giving your all to it? songs included:“i don’t want it all” by kim petras“distraction” by kehlani “faded love” by tinashe “alone in the universe” by tei shi “ungodly hour” by chloe x halle“lovestained” by hope talaitem 2: y’all want to have a fallback person, huh? ya know…if all goes wrong you’ll still have them! you’re too afraid to go after your first choice so you’d rather have the safe bet instead. it also seems like you want someone to lean on during shaky times and that’s not the healthiest thing to want out of a romantic connection, though it is understandable because life gets tough. you should be striving for what you think is out of your league, all those dreams you have of a love for the ages, like the love letters from long ago, could come true if you dare to pursue to them. questions to ask yourself when involved: does this person make you feel like anything is possible? do they get you out of your comfort zone in a positive way? do you feel like you don’t have to dilute yourself? songs included:“someone to stay” by vancouver sleep clinic “used to you” by mxmtoon“remember me” by umi “whitney” by gavin turek “alien” by wild nothing “moment” by victoria monetitem 3: *energy smacks me in the face* …okay so y’all really want the whole ordeal, that intense sort of love where it’s like share with me all your deepest, darkest secrets and let me tend to your wounds, i want the good the bad and the ugly, all the guts and glory, blah blah. you guys have a reaaaaaally hard time getting over people because you’re so all or nothing, like hey i admire you being able to put it all out there like that but it probably gets to an unnerving and unhealthy degree at times. you don’t have to merge souls with every single person and express undying love that you eventually lose yourself in. gives me very highschool sweetheart dreams with the letterman jacket. you should be striving for less intensity in your relationships, let’s not focus so much on forcing intimacy and try to enjoy each other’s company, another sign for someone that you should be practicing a healthy detachment (cause this always comes up somehow!) because romantic connections should be enjoyable. questions to ask yourself when involved: are you being ‘emotionally sl*tty’? (sex and the city reference but it means sharing too much emotion and making things too heavy too fast) do you still feel like the lead character of your own life or are you becoming too much of a supporting character to this person? are you trying to heal/help this person? if so, *buzzard sound* no! that’s not what romantic relationships are for! they are not therapy, luv songs included:“tell me - accoustic” by sabrina claudio “every kind of way” by h.e.r.“heal you” by sinead harnett“good days” by sza“lowkey” by dev“watermelon sugar” by the maineitem 4: i’m sure you have many things swirling around in your head when it comes to romance and you’re more of a learner when it comes to love so you tend to be open to whatever, like a pillow you tend to be pretty impressionable that way. the issue is that you tend to overextend in romantic connections because you do have an innocence towards love where everything is meaningful and you want to try to fulfill too much at once. you should be striving for individuality when it comes to romance, there needs to be some major self-reliance on your part so that you don’t overextend. sometimes if we are too open we are apt to lose our own standards because we’re wanting to give something a chance and end up playing ourselves too small, not a bad intention but it’s no bueno. be more aware of what you don’t want, enforce your standards, don’t be afraid to be direct because being crystal-clear would do you some good, remember to keep your own definition, don’t sacrifice you for the sake of giving a connection a chance, you matter in the equation too. questions to ask yourself when involved: are you showcasing as yourself or are you trying to be whatever this person likes? do you really like this person for who they are or are you just entertaining possibilities? do you feel like it’s easy for you to assert your own boundaries with this person and have them respected? songs included:“fantasy” by alina baraz “affection” by between friends “everything is embarrassing” by sky ferreira “who got me” by alina baraz“days with you” by snakehips“got it like that” by jae stephensitem 5: perhaps a bit awkward when it comes to love? i’m seeing that you don’t have much direction when it comes to romance because you associate love with hurdles so you’re more of a “let’s make it work!” type of person. this is looking like you have a tendency to settle and you don’t prioritize having a spark in a relationship because you like to have the consistency a relationship can bring. you should be striving for more accountability in your romantic connections, instead of being a ‘glutton for punishment’ and accepting issues as they are, you should be addressing issues and finding resolve. you don’t have to carry the weight of the world or take the brunt when it comes to romantic relationships, you can and should decide what you are and are not willing to put up with. taking accountability or holding someone accountable doesn’t have to be such a death sentence, it can be a chance for growth if you open the door. questions to ask yourself when involved: are you making sure you and this person are on the same page? do you feel like you are on the same page and there is proper reciprocation? are you confident in your potential to find the love you deserve and therefore not interested in settling for anything? are you able to communicate with this person about issues you may have with them/the connection? songs included:“like real people do” by hozier “pink in the night” by mitski “settling” by summer walker “something has to change” by the japanese house “willing & able” by disclosure “real love baby” by father john misty -- source link