katannauk: As far as public adventures go, the last few months really have been the most ambitious o
katannauk: As far as public adventures go, the last few months really have been the most ambitious of my life. You could easily replace the word ambitious there with insane. I’ll circle back to that. This was a while ago now, and after the previous shopping adventures when I wore jeans or jeggings I wanted to wear something looser so it was easier to go. Even really stretchy jeans often need loosening with my hands pushing down in my back pockets when I go sometimes. Leggings are far easier, but perhaps lack the same support afterwards. I was clearly wearing white briefs, but you can’t see the layer of rolled up tights and then further primary white briefs underneath. They sort of worked to contain things. Sort of. I posted the photo in the toilets from this mission already. But anyway it was a four day struggle before I let the explosion happen. I needed a few new foundations and after an awkward drive and walk I managed to sort that out before anything disastrous happened, but ominously my bowels were already cramping quite badly. I asked the lady at the counter if they had toilets even though I knew they did and she told me where they were. I was half thinking of just letting go there as it was getting painful but it wasn’t at the peak of a wave of urgency so I held off. It was busy that day and I was feeling quite brave so I decided to walk around the whole shopping centre and see what happened. I didn’t have anything tied around my waist yet. I didn’t have a plan at all really. The real urgency began while walking along the second floor of the department store, to the point of needing to stop by the railing and crossing my legs. There was zero gassiness for a long time before so I knew it would be explosive when it did happen. And then a larger unexpected wave over took the initial one and I started to resign myself to having to go within the next 20 seconds or so. People were everywhere. I couldn’t hold my bum or anything. But I wasn’t panicking as badly as I usually would. I think I’m just getting used to these absurd, self inflicted predicaments. Not to say my heart wasn’t racing. It definitely was. I headed off hesitantly, as naturally as I could, while releasing the pressure and feeling things starting their final movement. I was walking ahead of a group of three girls I think. They’d just come out of new look near where I was waiting. Then the pressure became too much to ignore and I gave an involuntary forceful sudden push and the volume and consistency of the poop as it flowed out was alarming. I know I do this alot but this one was alarming. It was also a noisy one. I had to stop briefly and bend over holding my stomach and my bum a bit now. It was obvious what was happening and I pushed again and the warmth spread quickly with an audibly crackly nastiness. I could feel it bulging out more and more with my hand and I looked around to see if anyone was witnessing it. The girls from new look were initially looking and I let them pass me as I went back to the railing. They looked back a few times smirking at me. I stood with my back to the railing now going into tunnel vision mode. I fumbled a bit in my bag as more crampy surges kept coming and tied my cardigan around my waist. It was such a messy one. Luckily not diarrhoea but enough to stain through pretty quickly. My leggings were already moist to the touch, through two layers of pants and the tights in-between. And the smell was really filling the air now. I had to move. I headed into a large department store and straight to a heavily stocked area so I could be out of sight for a while from anybody who may have seen. There were toilets here but I couldn’t face the three escalators I’d need to traverse on a busy day smelling this badly, even if my bum was hidden now. Out of any direct sight now I investigated my situation more carefully and I was shocked to see in the mirror after lifting my cardi around my waist that the mess had stained through quite significantly. It spread out so much and I was in a total state. I set my phone to record for some possible mirror screen grabs but didn’t hang around for long. The air was getting less acceptable by the second. That really is rule number one in public. Never stay anywhere too long! It’s rude to other people and it increases the chances of direct detection ten fold. So I headed for the main shopping centre toilets, making sure my bottom was covered sufficiently by the cardigan around my waist. It was a long walk but a cardigan somehow dampens the smell and I don’t think anyone noticed. I went a different way on another floor so hopefully no repeat witnesses. I arrived at the toilets and they were quite busy with about 50% of them closed for some reason but there were a few free cubicles. I didn’t have much to do there. I’d certainly never attempt to clean up a mess this big in a public toilet. But I did finish off a little trying not to wee. It wasn’t much but at least now I felt fully empty. The next bit is slightly weirder. So I left the toilets trying not to stink them out for too long and there was a gap in people this side of the partition so I managed to quickly get the silly mirror photo I posted previously, but as I left I noticed some girls by the mirrors the other side. And they were unusually giggly and they were staring at me. I thought at the time it could have been the girls from new look before but they weren’t. But.. I thought my bum was hidden. It transpired that I hadn’t put the cardi back down in place properly after the picture so they could see me when I was at the basins. When I left they followed me, so I turned and back tracked into the toilets again past them to try and lose them and make them realise I didn’t want to be followed. I went back into a cubicle and waited a few minutes. I also, in full accident mind set now, removed the cardigan knowing I was on the home straight out of the shopping centre, thinking I’d lost them, but when I came out again, there they were back by the mirrors. They were obsessive. And they followed me out again, now with my accident in full view. I just held my bum and walked really fast away from them. I heard one of them shout ‘oii… did you sh*t yourself?’ and then lots of laughing. Yeesh. I know it’s totally my fault but they weren’t particularly caring as most people tend to be. The toilets are near the exit of the shopping centre to the car park so that’s the only reason I’d removed the cardigan. And for the slight thrill of it I suppose. But I got way more than I’d expected. Their shout drew other people’s attention to me too. I definitely can’t go back there again. My heart was pounding. I didn’t care who looked, I just needed to get to my car. I was shaking when I awkwardly got in and sat on the big bin liner to protect my seat. I just sat there shaking and thinking it through feeling like I’d just done a sky dive. Too much adrenaline. I got the other picture closer to home at a regular haunt. I was much more relaxed by then. And then it was time to get clean finally; it was an incredibly relieving and long shower back at home. The ambition keeps rising though. And there lies the insanity. Where does it stop. It has to stop somewhere. I know it’s not particularly dangerous like an escalating need for adrenaline from surfing bigger waves or climbing bigger mountains but there is a very real risk of irreparable emotional trauma if it all comes crashing down. I’m very aware of this. But still, unfortunately this dichotomy hasn’t put me off at all. In fact, since then I’ve had some truly epic adventures/relapses. And some truly lovely witnesses who were the polar opposite of the three year old mentalities I ran into on this mission. Analysing how people respond to such an unexpected and possibly shocking sight is a fascinating thing for me. It really does separate the good from the bad. The mature from the immature. The sort of people I want to know and the sort of people I want to avoid. And reassuringly, about 80% of the people who comment or whom I over-hear are really nice and caring about it. It gives me hope xx Thanks for reading and sorry for the lack of message and question replies. Life and work are crazy at the moment, but I will go through questions soon, thank you for sending them :) -- source link