karas-adorable-smile:racethewind10:trancer21:racethewind10:kutekoolkat:given up yet, brave one? oh y

karas-adorable-smile:racethewind10:trancer21:racethewind10:kutekoolkat:given up yet, brave one? oh you wish. #but in one version of their relationship I have this headcanon them sparring as stress relief as well as#in the same way Castle and Beckett’s theory building works as foreplay#they almost get off on it#although…#it took a lot of convincing from astra for alex to believe that she could handle being close the kryptonite after the whole Lane ordeal#the nightmares were still there but not as often as it was before#she trusts Alex so as long as she is there with her there is no fear or hesitation#and at that point they are close friends – or so they tell themselves.#alex is completely unaware of her feelings while astra could never believe that someone as amazing as Alex could love her#but then one day while sparring#Alex has astra pinned to the ground and they are looking into each others eyes#completely forgetting where they are and Alex’s feelings come to surface#and that is how they shared their first kiss#(and in another room J'onn switches the security feed before anyone else in the room sees what was happening) - via @kutekoolkat # Because Alex is good dammit but you can always be better and sparring against Astra gives her an opponent she has to work up to # people think of Astra as a traitor and a murderer (she will deny the traitor but murderer? Well she /has/ killed) # but first and foremost Astra is a soldier and a leader and when Alex steps into the ring with her she slips into the role of trainer # and its familiar and comfortable and Alex is so damned good - quick and strong and she learns fast and drives herself so hard # of course Astra respects that - admires it even. Pushing Alex to be better and sharing her pride when she succeeds # And that’s how it starts # within the tiny world bounded by the edges of the mat and bathed in green light its their own world # with its own rules and its own structure and they build their own language # of blocks and punches and kicks throws and chokes and holds of bruises and sweat and the heavy weight of muscles pushed too far # until it becomes more like dancing than fighting and Astra starts to slip - keeps Alex held against a heartbeat too long # blocks a fraction of a second too slow because she’s distracted by the way Alex licks her lips or that bead of sweat on her neck # and it hurts because Astra knows what’s happening and knows that Alex doesn’t feel the same way so she does  her best to bury it # and does her best to insure Alex is prepared for anything in the field so that she keeps coming back # Astra isn’t allowed out into the field yet she doesn’t know what happens to Alex when she’s gone all Astra knows is Alex has to come back # other than Kara’s safety that becomes Astra’s first concern and every time the door to her cell opens and Alex strides in # Astra feels that rush of relief and finds herself smiling a little brighter and Alex maybe even starts to smile back and that’s how # they take the next step - (@racethewind10)And then it happens, the day Alex doesn’t return. Her niece’s influence, Astra always assumed, even on the days they didn’t spar the way Alex would check on Astra before leaving for the day. Astra always sure to remain cordially distant. To hide the little quirk in her lips, the tiny clench in her chest. There were no clocks in her cell but Astra was Kryptonian, time was a part of her DNA. The first night Astra assumed DEO duty, as the second night, the third. On the fourth when the guard brought her morning meal, when Astra was pacing her cell, practically crawling the walls, Astra let her guard slip, asked for Agent Danvers. The guard remained silent, as they always do.The next time the door to Astra’s cell opened, it was Kara. Pale, eyes vacant. Haunted. She only had to say one word - Alex - and Astra was pounding her fists against the glass. Astra allowed them to shackle her. Led to the Infirmary, where many of the Martians soldiers were attached to machines keeping them alive. As Kara led Astra to the bed where Alex lay, where the machines were keeping her alive.All those times she and Alex sparred, Astra forgot how fragile humans could be. That someone would do this to the human Astra considered her niece’s, considered *hers*, protected by the aegis of El. An oath that meant nothing in a cell emitting kryptonite. Head lifting, eyes burning hot with murderous rage, she fixed her gaze onto the Martian.“Tell me whoever did this is dead?”Kara shifted, standing before her. Guilt etched across her face. “Can you stop him?”Astra lifted her shackled hands, hissing through her gritted teeth. “I swear on the House of El.”Astra’s killed many times in her life. Her people didn’t shy from protecting their territories and the galaxy is a dangerous place when you’re not a primitive backwater planet orbiting a small yellow sun in a distant corner of space. As a General she’s seen spaceships explode, oxygen or nitrogen or argon - whatever chemical the species breathed - coloring the flames until the vacuum of space extinguished them. She’s ordered planets bombed, and she’s fought on the ground with her troops, energy weapons lighting up the night and the screams of the wounded in her ears. In her quest - no, her single-minded crusade, she can call it what it was now - to save Krypton, she’s even ordered cold blooded murder because it was - she rationalized - a necessity. Sacrifice the few to save the many. She drives the knife J’onn J’onzz gave her into Non’s gut with a hiss and it’s the first time in her entire life Astra enjoys the sight of life fading from the eyes of her victim. Maybe that blackens what’s left of her soul but as Non chokes his last breath and goes limp beneath her, she draws the glowing green blade away, its color muted by the red blood staining her fingers and the rage that’s been driving her pulls back, a wave receding from the shore. She isn’t washed clean though, just barren and exhausted and in the wake of anger comes fear. Vengeance isn’t healing.Non’s death can’t bring Alex back to health. Astra returns to the DEO with Non’s blood still covering her knuckles, her own staining the corner of her mouth and below her nose where he fought back. Where she expects the return of her shackles and to have the weapon taken away, however, she just gets a long look and then a sharp nod from the one called Vasquez. “No change. Doc says that’s good news, though,” Vasquez offers softly, something a little too knowing in her dark brown eyes.  Astra tries not to shift under the woman’s regard. “Thank you,” she replies carefully, still uncertain about this sudden change in her status. “May I,” she tilts her chin back to where the medical area is. Vasquez nods. “Yeah sure, but you might want to clean up. If Alex wakes up and  you look like that it might upset her, you know?”She doesn’t, not really, but Astra has no room to contemplate Vasquez’ words,  she’s already moving toward the locker room she’s allowed to use after she works out with Alex.  Her steps are quick and she passes multiple agents. None of them try to stop her. The rush of hot water on her skin fails to provide its usual balm and Astra doesn’t linger, just grabs one of the ubiquitous pairs of black pants and shirts left for agents whose uniforms are damaged in some way. Her hair is still damp but her hands clean, makes her way to Alex’ bedside, slipping the knife into her pocket to give J’onn later. Even knowing what to expect, the sight hits her harder than Non’s blows ever could and Astra falters in the doorway of Alex’ room. Kara - still in her blue and red suit - provides the only color in an otherwise sterile space. White blankets, white pillows, clear lines of fluid, white machines. Alex’s face drained of blood and life, far too close in shade to the fabric she lies beneath. She’s breathing on her own - the humans say that’s encouraging - but Astra can hear the sluggish beating of Alex’ heart, the shallow, thin rush of air from her lungs and its wrong. It’s so, so wrong. “How do you do it?” she asks her niece, who sits immobile by Alex’ side, one pale, lifeless hand clasped between her own. “How do you love them knowing how fragile they are?” She doesn’t mean to ask. She certainly doesn’t mean to use that damned word but, But now it’s out and she won’t take it back. She might be a killer but Astra in-Ze is no coward. Kara just looks up at her, that beloved face no longer full of innocence and eagerness. Kara Zor-El is a warrior now, and it strikes Astra that her niece followed in her footsteps instead of Alura’s. The young woman who stares across Alex’ too-still form has been tempered by her time on this planet, forged into something stronger than she would have been had she grown up on Krypton. She’s not a child anymore, but an equal. When Kara glances at the empty chair on the other side of Alex’ bed, Astra sits, and waits for her reply, wondering if there’s even one to make.  “What choice do we have?” Kara says eventually, glancing down at her sister.It’s a question that has no answer and is all the answer that exists so Astra says nothing, just slides her palm below Alex’ other hand and takes it as gently as she possibly can. The machines beep and Alex continues to breathe and Astra and Kara keep watch, counting every single heartbeat. Her whole body hurt. At least Alex thought it did. She couldn’t be sure, her consciousness a touch and go without ever waking up, but she felt like burning. Maybe this was it then, the end, with fire scorching every part of her being. She heard voices, or sounds, really. A deep grumble poking her awareness now and then.Then higher ones, different, familiar. They were soothing, but maybe they had just pumped her full of drugs to make it easier.“She needs you, brave one.”Her hand was clasped in warmth, squeezed almost painfully.“And Kara is an adequate sparring partner, but still… I really-”The voice cut off.Wait.Her hand had just reacted. She’d heard the voice loud and clear.An insistent beeping next to her began to speed up. Then more voices.“Alex? Alex can you hear me?”Kara.She wanted to nod, open her eyes, scream. But all she could manage was to squeeze the hands that had taken a hold of her free hand.“She’s getting better. Stubborn and strong this one. Give her time.”Alex couldn’t say what day it was when she, weakly, opened her eyes, but it felt like a Monday. She’d always hated and loved Mondays.She felt drowsy, as if her head and mouth were filled with cotton, and the light in the room was so bright, tears started leaking out of the corners of her eyes instantly.Her hands were still occupied by the two people in the room, and she could feel a weight on her side, but raising her head would have been too much right now. Opening her mouth, Alex tried to make any sound resembling a word, but all that came out was a dry croak. But it was enough.In a second Kara was leaning over her, teary eyed smile stretched across her face. “Alex!” And not a second later Kara was basically lying next and half on top of her, sobbing into her neck.“I’m going to get the Doctors, and Director Henshaw,” Astra, to Alex’s happy surprise, patted Kara’s shoulder and leaned down to kiss Alex’s forehead, before leaving them alone.There was a lot of fuss happening the next hours, Kara and Astra not leaving her side, when the D.E.O. medical staff ran their tests, poked her here and there. Her body seemed to be fine, but…“I can’t feel my legs.”Kara, Astra and even J’onn were more patient than Alex was with her own recovery. The damage done to her nerves and muscles was reparable, but it took time. Too much of it in Alex’s opinion, because there were still hostile alines on the run, and Lord was probably just waiting to start some shit again.Alex would love to get to the stage of her recovery where she was allowed to start with light sparring, but for now it was just daily workout in a pool in one of the many hangars. She’d never been much of a swimmer, neither was Kara, and so it was Astra helping her with the exercises to strengthen her body to its old form again.Not that Alex had any complaints about Astra being the one helping her, but how was she supposed to concentrate with Astra’s hands on her body, and Astra wearing a swimsuit. This standard D.E.O. swimwear should not be flattering anyone’s body, but somehow it really, really did.Fuck.“You’re doing great. Maybe another two weeks and you’ll be cleared to use weights outside the water.” Astra’s hands were on Alex’s waist, steadying her and keeping her afloat, while Alex did some slow sidekicks and paddle moves with one leg.Kick, paddle, repeat, switch the leg. Kick, paddle, repeat, switch the leg.It really was easier to not even think about keeping herself upright, or balancing on a still not completely steady leg in a shallower part of the pool, but the way Astra’s palms pressed into her sides, and just Astra’s whole presence at her back sent a shiver down Alex’s spine.“Finish this set, and then we’ll get you warmed up.”By now, Alex didn’t protest anymore if either of the Kryptonians helped or steadied her, when her legs just didn’t want to cooperate in that moment. But it was still a hard thing to ask for help. Even while Alex stood under the shower, crutches just out of reach, and suddenly her legs gave out. Maybe she shouldn’t have said no to the shower stool.Alex didn’t know how, but Astra was there, catching her, and holding her upright with strong arms around her.The shock of the almost fall had Alex’s heart racing. But the fact that Astra was just as equally naked as Alex right now, their bodies flush against each other, sent her pulse into overdrive. Alex panted, her hands clutching Astra’s shoulders. It wouldn’t take much. Just a little tilt of her head and she’d taste Astra’s lips.Astra’s eyes darted down to Alex’s mouth.But with a trembling exhale and more self-control than Alex could’ve brought up right now, Astra put a bit of distance between them, as much as she could without detaching herself from Alex.“Astra, I-”“When you’re healed, we will talk about this.” Astra’s fingertips drew tiny circles on Alex’s skin. “And, I know it seems like I’m rejecting or pushing you away, but believe me, brave one,” Astra leaned in to kiss Alex’s cheek just shy of her lips, “you’re not getting rid of me.”Alex’s legs almost gave out again. -- source link
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