snakewife:wangquest:My partner @snakewife has been extraordinarily supportive and kind throughout my
snakewife:wangquest:My partner @snakewife has been extraordinarily supportive and kind throughout my phalloplasty preparation. But just as any major surgery would be, a phalloplasty can be hard on your loved ones as well! And that’s okay as long as you’re both supportive of each other and communicate your emotional needs to each other.Stan tried to hold a lot of her emotions/worries/stress related to my phallo inside for a long time because she wanted to be a good partner and not cause me extra stress. But keeping all of that inside was really hard on her and left her without emotional support for her own stress and emotions. Eventually, when I was making a somewhat cavalier joke about my own mortality, the dam burst and she started crying, which was the first time I realized how much stress she had been under.For all that it was certainly an awkward and painful moment for poor Stan to have, I’m glad it happened, as it allowed me to tell her that it was okay to talk to me about her emotions surrounding my procedure. I also encouraged her to talk to her therapist about it too so she could process her emotions in whatever way felt right for her.With the encouragement of her therapist, Stan started talking to me about her feelings through a medium that felt safe and comforting to her: comics. So every so often I’ll also post a little guest comic from her about her experiences as a partner of someone going through this procedure.Iiiiit’s hard for me to talk about my worries and stresses when they’re still active. I prefer saying “I wasn’t doing great, but I’m better now.” If any of you follow my comics, you’ve surely noticed how spotty my update schedule has become. Well.We went to Austin last week to visit @teachimera’s family and it underscored that we’ll essentially be moving to Austin for the duration of surgery and recovery, no small amount of time. Our apartment will be sublet to a friend, we have to figure out how to take Diane From HR with us, what other things are important enough to take, etc etc. Even now, in talking about it here, I’m skirting around the big thing that hangs over us,* which is the surgery and recovery itself. Like anyone whose partner needs surgery, yknow?Even those two paragraphs feel too honest, too vulnerable, but there they are. And the big reason why is to let you know, if you’re going through it, too, that it’s okay. You’re not alone. Find some way to talk about your stress and worries so that you don’t burst into tears during a very funny joke. (Also,if you’re interested in the details of that sort of thing, follow @wangquest)* (if you know what I mean)A guest Stananigan strip for my husband’s phalloblog. -- source link