when-it-rains-it-snows:copperbadge:ignescent:kyraneko:naamahdarling:superwaywardangel:meginblack:dan
when-it-rains-it-snows:copperbadge:ignescent:kyraneko:naamahdarling:superwaywardangel:meginblack:dandelionofthanatos:brinnanza:magistrate-of-mediocrity:serinsnart:tosety:the-true-space-fandom:osointricate:ravingliberal:teddylacroix:notalwaysluminous:mrkevinmchale:buzzfeed:21 People Who Forgot A Word And Just Made Some Shit Upim cryinga friend of mine forgot the word “lamp” once and said “light faucet”I’m shaking from laughter. Yes, this is the right way to start a Friday morning.Listen guys, I have a BA in English and an MA in Professional Writing and I have:Forgotten the word “gums” and called them “teeth cuticles”Forgotten the term “liquor store” and called it a “rum-o-rama”Forgotten the word “mohawk” and called it a “head mustache”The list goes on and on. Wording is HARD. You know that putty you put in holes before you paint a wall? I forgot the word “putty,” called it “hole-be-gone” instead, and now my whole family refers to it as hole-be-gone.it’s hard to make the brain do the english, ok!?I wish I had this skill.When I lose a word, my brain derails. I use the term ‘derail’ because it is the mental equivalent of a train derailment (just easier to clean up)At the staff meeting, my boss referred to the clipboard as “that snappy board”My 4-year-old nephew didn’t know the word “knuckle” so he told us his finger knee hurt. I forgot the word “speech” once so I said “you wrote me an essay with your mouth”Dad once temporarily had the term “auto body filler” leave his brain; the Canadian Tire worker had her whole day made when he cheerfully said, “I’m here to procure some…car-spackle!”I once forgot the work barrel so I described it as a round wooden box and then something “pirates put rum in it” before my mate figured out what I meant.Oh god. Here we go.Once upon a time, I had a lot of trouble communicating with friends. It could be argued that I still do.In my first year of high school, I was talking to this one girl who I’ll call Lullaby. We had literally every class together, so we started hanging out all the time.During lunch, we had a conversation about our experiences dating girls vs. dating guys in a sexual manner. We get back and we go to the rest of our classes, and she starts out the door.What I WANT to say is “Come back”Of course my brain decides that there are synonyms to words that sound like that, since it won’t actually word.I blurt out, in front of half of my class.“Ejaculate back!”I do this a lot.Here are some good ones:I stepped on something gross and it got between my toes, and in my distress I referred to my toes as “feet teeth.”I was very proud to have finished the “plate laundry.”I told my ex to go look in the garage, only I said “car pantry.”But my VERY FAVORITE is when I couldn’t remember the word for brown, so I called it “boring purple.”> I once forgot the work barrel so I described it as a round wooden box and then something “pirates put rum in it” before my mate figured out what I meant.“Something pirates put rum in” is usually “pirates” in my experience.Look, I still maintain “food closet” is a perfectly acceptable term if you can’t remember “pantry”. Conversely I once forgot the term “linen closet” and told my mum to get a sheet from the Blanket Pantry.Not two hours ago I wanted to know if a drink had “the milk.. Sugar.. Sugar milk..” in it.The barista took pity on me and took over: yes, a Vietnamese iced coffee does have sweetened condensed milk in it. My Romanian boss once said “anti-bebbe” because he didn’t know the English term for birth control. -- source link
#amusing things#language#nsfw language#long post