baby-make-it-hurt:baby-make-it-hurt:bl0wmekissesxo:baby-make-it-hurt:theenemyoftheheir:baby-make-it-
baby-make-it-hurt:baby-make-it-hurt:bl0wmekissesxo:baby-make-it-hurt:theenemyoftheheir:baby-make-it-hurt:He also has her followed at her work as he tells her not to leave for lunch, and had his body guard follow her. Then he sends her furious emails about it. He also holds punishments over her head to try and keep her in line such as “you’re making my hand twitchy” Which is his way of saying he is going to spank her, purely because she tries to stand up for herself and defies him. He doesn’t like that. The pure fact that he says “I like having control over every aspect of my life” is a red flag enough. But so many girls don’t even see that. That’s a massive sign of an abusive person. For example:Psychological abuse can look like:Humiliating or embarrassing you. -he does this by treating her like a child in front of her family and friends, and his employeesRefusing to communicate. - He refuses to talk about things, unless HE wants to talk about it. Otherwise he ignores her and shuts down communication.Ignoring or excluding you. - See above. He ignores her, and excludes her by purposely leaving her out of things such as his crazy ex threatening them, this ends in her almost killing them. Then he excludes her while he takes care of his ex, leaving Anastasia to assume the worst.Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.- she got scared purely over the tone of voice he would purposely use.Unreasonable jealousy.- He refused to let her hang with her male friend because he was jealous.Extreme moodiness.- this guy was so hot and cold, Katy Perry wrote a song about him.Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.- he constantly belittled her and tried to make her feel as if she couldn’t handle simple tasks without him.Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”-he would use punishments like time in the red room to get her to do what he wanted.Domination and control.- Literally everything about him.Withdrawal of affection.- He would shut down and refuse to talk to her let alone touch her if she did ANYTHING wrong.Guilt trips.- Constantly brought up previous things he didn’t like to try and guilt her into doing what he wanted.Making everything your fault.- She couldn’t do anything right, and he always reminded her.Isolating you from friends and family.- Her own housemate stopped talking to her because of the way she had changed.Using money to control.-He was always trying to buy her love, and would guilt her if she didn’t like it.Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.- If he wasn’t ignoring her, he was constantly demanding her attention.15 out of 21 signs of an abusive relationship is Christian Grey. Anyone who tries to dispute this, are allowing the behaviour of emotional abuse to be romanticised.- Talking to hektikk about 50 shades of Grey. The movie is out soon, so I just wanted to share this. Please stop making excuses for his abuse. Please stop defending him, and stop telling us to “get over it” or to just not read the books if we don’t like it. You’re allowing this behaviour to be presented to naive women interested in the BDSM lifestyle in a romantic way. You’re allowing guys like this to abuse girls who think this is okay, because you’re telling them that it is okay. It’s not.This is dangerous behaviour. Take it from someone who was emotionally abused for almost 6 years. It is so hard to gain control back. If someone had of told me to look out for these signs, I’d like to think I’d of been smart enough to leave. But I know that’s not true. They are manipulative, and very very good at what they do. Educate women, but also show men like this that: No, this is not acceptable behaviour. We will call you out on your bullshit, and protect women from your abuse.Also, don’t forget that anyone can be an abuser. Any gender, sexual orientation, race etc. Be aware of it, and don’t sit by and allow it to happen.This is all true and whatnot. But they do this with the intention that there is something wrong with him. It’s a story about his journey as a person as well as her journey in experiencing something like that. The book does a good way of showing that even handsome billionaires that sound too good to be true can have something terribly wrong with them. He’s a very dynamic character by the end of the series.I agree that the book was a pretty good story about someone with deep issues, that’s not my problem though.My problem is that the author, actors in the movie and the media are not addressing his abusive behaviour as wrong. They are all too concerned with the money this is making them, to actually care about the harmful outcome this has with the general public. Most books I’ve read like this, the author has always addressed that this is just a story and should not be taken as a real representation of a safe relationship. Followed by helplines and info on these matters. I bet the movie won’t have a warning, and you can be damn sure that no one will mention how scary his behaviour was after. It’ll just be about how romantic he is. That’s a massive sign of how little we’ve come with abuse and awareness.I loved the whole 50 Shades of Grey series but all of what is being said is true. Christian Grey’s character DOES have some deep rooted issues and the author and media uses his handsome appearance, money, and sex appeal to romanticize emotional abuse. I didn’t think about or fully see that in abstract until now. Thank you for this post.Can I just take a second to show that this right above is why I wrote this. This isn’t about BDSM, this isn’t about the character or book or movie being about an emotional abusers. This is about the fact that it’s being portrayed as romantic, and everyone involved in the book and movie are pretending that it’s not an abusive relationship. I wrote this to help people. To inform them to not be blind to the hype and false advertising of the movie and books.I don’t care if you read them, or go see them. Just keep in mind that this is not a healthy relationship, his controlling behaviour is not romantic and that this wasn’t always consensual. He hit her out of anger, he continued when she said no or used safe words and he guilted her into doing things by using their contract against her. She stayed because she loved him.But sometimes that’s not reason enough. If someone is hurting you, controlling you, belittling you, isolating you from friends and family, or treating you any less than an equal… You do not have to put up with that. You can leave, say no and stand your ground.Just don’t take this movie and books as an example of a romantic and healthy relationship. Please educate yourself on abuse, and never settle for less than you deserve.This comes out today in Australia. -- source link