fisica-neruda:morning at night.these past few weeks i’ve been sleeping at 3am and waking at 6am. upo
fisica-neruda:morning at night.these past few weeks i’ve been sleeping at 3am and waking at 6am. upon rising i instinctively reach for my phone, squint at the screen to read the time, and from there, I continue to lie in bed until noon. sometimes i watch the ceiling fan spin–if I concentrate hard enough, i am able to fixate on a single blade and follow it with my eyes until my brain feels like wine draining out of a barrel in a tight spiral. when i’m feeling a bit more productive, i pick up my e-reader and read a few lines of poetry; today was Louise Gluck’s A Myth of Devotion. it made me feel a bit sad, and so i had to lay the e-reader to rest, only to pick up at a time where i am better prepared to process such things. when i’m feeling particularly progressive, i play this ten-minute mindfulness thing off some wellness app–the one my old therapist kept recommending. and when I doze off, roughly around the six minute mark, i wake up even foggier than before and wonder why i couldn’t have just stayed asleep. -- source link