Have The Courage To Love Yourself More. How I’m coping with my decision not to see my biological mot
Have The Courage To Love Yourself More. How I’m coping with my decision not to see my biological mother and the hardships of being her P.O.AFor those that dont know me. That beautiful little girl in the photo is me. A foster child who endured many forms of abuse from my biological and various foster parents. Fast forward to me now, a 36 year old bravestarr who still longs for that void in my heart to be filled with a family. I would love to have a family christmas dinner, birthday celebrations, and just simple acknowledgment of my trip to hell (a few to many times!) and back in one piece. Here is how I made the decision to let my need for family go.My heart is absolutely broken with making the decision not see my mother at CAMH during one of darkest moments with her mental illness. I cry with the thought of her being alone, but I can’t be strong for her. She is after all the monster that hurt and abused me as a little vulnerable child!I cry tears alone. I dont have a partner, I dont have family and I dont have the finances to hire my coach weekly now that I re-opened my shop. I have been waiting like a doormat for my family to reply to my need to be a sister and aunt. The last two years of recovering from being homeless after walking away from my husband crushed me into a deep hole I had to climb out of!. The divorce was my most loneliest time however, thankfully the most self development I have ever accomplished thanks to my Life Coach / Fairy Godmother Lauren Randolf of The Cartwheel Coach. Now as “The Pantyhose Barber” I found myself conflicted with emotions of not wanting to be expressive with who I am at my core in fear that I may upset my family. But you know what, the first time my birthday was forgotten, I wish I had the strength then to move on. Trust me, my family are great peeps. This is not a hate message. Sometimes we need to walk alone to realize how strong we are. Sometimes you have to take a loss and be brave to let go and finally jump!If you got to walk on eggshells and dim your light around certain people, that right there my friend is your sign to have courage to love yourself more. When you do, start over and build your own tribe with people that will love and accept you unconditionally. Stop complaining about being a doormat and get your ass up off the floor!oceans of love and light, BraveStarr. -- source link