Why you looking bitter? I be looking betterThe type of bitch that make you wish that you ain’t

Why you looking bitter? I be looking betterThe type of bitch that make you wish that you ain’t never met herLobelia S-to-the-B: so sprezz, so swag, so haute she’ll melt your popsicle. I am just in love with Lobelia Sackville-Baggins fancying herself as a hot-shit fashionista but actually coming across as ten pounds of “oh honey, no” in a five pound bag. I want the extended edition to have footage of her parading through Hobbiton in her fashion-forward florals, calling everyone out for being basic bitches, harshing on coords, insisting everyone check out her lookbook and throw her some hype, come on you jerks.I need a whole featurette on the in-universe fashion scene.I mean, those frocks are obvs Bree Saint Laurent, but is that brolly by Vivian of Westwood or is it vintage Southfarthing couture? Did she scam those hats off a March Hare or what? How’d her layering game get that tight? Girl, what is that flower basket even about, what is your story? These are the important questions.+ +Otho actually looks quite nicely put together, but Lobelia’s stagey status-seeking styling is still very much in play. Remember most other hobbit dudes wear plain shirts + relaxed tweedy/corduroy vest ensembles that say: “My fandoms are Hardcore Gardening and Shepherd’s Pie: IN MY MOUTH EDITION.” Even Bilbo, who is quite well-to-do – and according to this very gifset, has tunnels overflowing with Gucci Gucci – dresses smartly but practically, brass buttons being about as flashy as he gets. Otho must stick out like a fancy sore thumb.And then you realise Lobelia’s dressed him up like a mini Mr. Darcy (or whatever the romantic male lead equivalent is in The Shire, but imagining classic Colin Firth Darcy is way funnier) with a fresh puritan twist.And then you laugh.“Where are you going, Otho? Down the pub? Well here’s a gold brocade waistcoat, a crimson cravat, a high-collared shirt with ruffled cuffs and a nicely tailored morning coat. Oh my, Mr. Sackville-Baggins, it is a truth universally acknowledged that you are looking dapper.”“…You’ve thrown out all my other clothes, haven’t you?”“Burned them! You’re welcome.”+LOBELIA’S #1 HOT TIP THIS SEASON: Hella Flowers. srsly.Flowers on your dress, flowers on your head, flowers on your timepiece, flowers instead of a timepiece, flowers on your shawl, flowers in your garden, flour in your bread – so many flowers your name is a flower and it has the most glorious meaning in Victorian Flower Language. Look me up.If you think you’re wearing too much, you’re wrong, and you need to bust out a basket and fill it with flowers and tote it around ‘til you stop thinking like a basic Baggins.I hear some folk saying floral is over. That now it’s all about weathered tree bark by Forrest of Fangorn or whoever (never heard of him), but that’s just the same old understated “woodland palette” the Elves have been pushing since the start of forever and that drabness can just piss off back to Valisnore with the rest of those boring weirdos. Yeah, if you’re some foolishly-tall elf all fair-of-face and lithe-as-an-asshole, maybe you can pull off a mossy shit-brown look, but guess what? You could probs pull off anything! And you’d do all of us a big favour if you could pull off those 50-Shades-of-Dried-Bird-Poo robes and just walk around shirtless.I’m just saying.So yeah, don’t listen to them. Mix, match and clash every floral print you have, double-up on your flower-themed accessories and pile your hat high with every bloom you can snatch from Bag End’s garden (Bilbo is usually out from 11am to 3pm on weekdays, most likely doing something pompous and irritating) and you will be the talk of the town!Because if you don’t think flowers are the dopest shit, I don’t even know what to tell you.-'belia out! (ʘ‿ʘ✿✿✿✿✿)ノ✿ -- source link

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