hinazinnia: holyfuckabear:thebaconsandwichofregret:asexual-not-asexual-detective: Am I the only
hinazinnia: holyfuckabear: thebaconsandwichofregret: asexual-not-asexual-detective: Am I the only one who thinks that hitting a kid and abuse are different things? Like, if I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t spank their ass raw or something like that. But a bop on the mouth or the ear pull or a smack upside the head? Yea. Those are behavior modifiers. Except they’re not. The studies done by the trained psychologists in this joke show that little kids don’t associate being hit with the thing they’ve done wrong. Very small children only understand consequences that are directly caused by the thing they did. Steal a biscuit, biscuit tastes good. Then for no reason mummy hit me. Very different to stole a biscuit, now no biscuit after dinner because I stole a biscuit. And they also show that when a child is old enough to understand why they are being hit that non-physical punishment is equally as effective and less mentally harmful in the long run. Do you know who benefits the most from hitting as a punishment? The parent. It gives a satisfaction rush. Parents do it because it makes them feel good. Basically kids have two stages: too young to understand why they are being hit so physical punishment is useless for anything other than teaching a child that bigger stronger people can hit you whenever they like (Which sounds like the same lesson you would learn from abuse) And the second stage is old enough to be reasoned with so many punishment options are available and you chose physical violence because it makes *you* feel better, which is an abusive action. The only time a person should ever use violence against another human being, of any age, is to stop that person from being violent themselves. Hitting a stranger is a crime. Hitting someone small who relies on you for food, love, and shelter should be as well. Don’t hit your fucking kid. I remember talking about this with my mother. Now, hitting kids as casual punishment is less common, but when I was a kid, everyone of my classmates got hit. Not in your typical “abusive” way, but in those “smacks in the ass and the head”. It was the norm. It took me a few years to realize how fucked up it was because everybody I knew had suffered from this. And in earlier generations (my parents, grandparents) it was even worse. I realized how bad and wrong it was when I saw a mother hit a baby beacause they wouldn’t stop picking up stuff from the floor. And years, many years later, I was talking with my mother and she said that she knew it was bad. But that we (my brother and I) drove them crazy and they couldn’t help it. That we acted in a certain way just to piss them off and we were asking for it. And that they were tired and desperate and it was the only option for us to shut up (and start crying). How fucked up is that? How fucked up is that you, an adult, cannot reason with yourself? When I am upset and angry at someone I never think of hitting them! Because that wouldn’t make anything better. But parents do it because they /can/, they are an authority figure and are bigger than their kids. They know their hit will be the last action. But that is not the answer. It never is. So yeah, parents hit their kids for their own pleasure and that is wrong and bad and a form of abuse. And it’s hard to accept it because it is so normalized. -- source link