twentysomethingtransboytrick: I come out a lot. Ive recently had the immense privilege of passing. T
twentysomethingtransboytrick: I come out a lot. Ive recently had the immense privilege of passing. That means every potential date I have, when I meet a cute boy in a club, whenever I want to pursue something physical, emotional or intimate with someone… I have to come out. Again. And again. At first I was filled with fear. I remember getting smashed in the face with a 40 oz by a boy who I thought was cute and we went on a date. I outed myself to him as we were walking around the mission. I saw a range of emotion pass over his face. Fear. Anger. Disgusted. He then reacted violently and told me I was lying to him about who I was. It hurt. It was a couple years until I even tried to go on another “date” with a man. I’d casually hook up through apps where I could navigate telling someone I was trans without them being in front of me. But I limited myself to that. I vowed to never trust anyone who might hurt me for who I was. Then, I met… let’s call him Gabriel. Gabriel came in with his friend at the hat shop I worked at. Gabriel was soft spoken. He was a pretty boy. He had a smile that made my knees weak and we flirted as I sold him a straw Panama hat. We went on a couple dates and things were great. We then one night went back to his house. I still hadn’t told him that I was trans. I was so afraid he would say something terrible, or that he would be upset once he found out I was trans. We were sitting in his room and making out. I told him I needed to stop. He said he understood. But I wanted nothing more than to get him into bed. It felt like he really wanted it too. So I gathered up the courage to tell him. He was silent for a minute. He had soft, warm, beautiful honey brown eyes and I looked deep into them. There wasn’t fear. Or anger. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. He smiled and gave me a kiss on my hand. He the put it in between his legs. I was holding onto his dick and my breathe caught in my chest. “This doesn’t make me who I am.” He said. “This is part of me. Part of me I hope you want. Part of me that I hope you like. But it does not dictate who I am.” He pulled my hand off the hard on he was sporting and put it against his heart. “This makes me who I am. This is how I love. How I feel.” I then felt a wave of emotion pass over me. Years of fear, the moment where that boy hurt me, everything washed over me for a moment. I asked if it was okay to kiss him. He smiled and laughed, I pushed him on the bed and we ended up fucking for hours. Gabriel helped show me that my worth was measured by my capacity to love and be loved. That I can adore my body and someone else’s shame, confusion, or hurt is not mine to unpack. He helped show me that my body is an amazing body. That my transness doesn’t make me any less desirable. He eventually graduated college and we went our separate ways. But I’ll never forget coming out that time. And now? Every time I come out I’m proud. I own it. I know that being trans is amazing. I know that I’m powerful, desirable, loving, kind, and my trans body is beautiful. I get to come out almost every day. And I’m proud every time I tell someone. ; Mr. Pam Also, big props to NakedSword for featuring a transman in their production. For those that don’t know, this is the first time in 12 years that a mainstream gay porn company has had a transguy in their movies. Lurk it coming out soon on NakedSword.com, its . It’s a big day for me and I feel very proud to be trans, and to share some of my story with all of you who want to listen. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me. -- source link