noirandchocolate:And now a note about Vice. Ankh-Morpork has no Vice Squad, the Guild of Seamstress
noirandchocolate:And now a note about Vice. Ankh-Morpork has no Vice Squad, the Guild of Seamstresses having made it clear that they have enough already and don’t need any from the Watch. Watch policy is that this Guild is an honest and cooperative enterprise, better run on behalf of its membership than most Guilds, and officers will not therefore become involved except by invitation of evidence of serious crime.Therefore, the day-to-day policing of the salons, houses of negotiable affection, hot bath lobs, piccolo lobs, parlours, spikies, molly houses and premises of extremely good repute that form the Shades’ most energetic trade is left to the Guild and their enforcers Dotsie and Sadie, locally known as the Agony Aunts. They may be considered as highly specialized constables, whose job is to protect Guild employees from the more enthusiastic customer, and are best left alone, especially Dotsie if you see her left eye start to spin.Commander Vimes has informally let it be known that complaints against the Aunts will certainly be investigated, if the complainee is still capable of walking as far as the Watch House and of speech when he gets there, but said enquiry will start with a very thorough investigation of all the events leading up to it. The Guild has very wide definitions of ‘acceptable’ behavior and the Watch’s formal view is that anyone who oversteps these broad marks is on their own and probably highly suspicious.–Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs, “The Ankh-Morpork Archives”(illustration by Paul Kidby)(Guy Who Got Punished by the Aunts: Then they stabbed me in me unmentionables!Commander Vimes: That’s very interesting. *takes out notebook* And what did you do to deserve getting stabbed in your unmentionables?)(Also–Terry Pratchett: My big fantasy city runs on a Guild system that formalizes the kind of ‘thieves’ guilds’ you often see in fantasy books and takes the concept to its logical–and therefore somewhat silly–conclusion. But you know what? If I’m going to do that I also have to account for the fact that other people would have guilds. Hmm. Yes. I think this is right: good news everyone! The sex workers have a guild! Ha ha, very droll, right? *dead serious tone* It’s one of the best-run guilds in my city, whenever I write about it I will use a respectful tone, its president is highly influential, the leader of the city had a high-class sex worker for an aunt and so he has also drunk his respect sex worker juice, and by the way anyone who harms a lady of negotiable affection in my city is going to be punished by two old ladies and if the ‘victim’ of such an attack complains the cops are going to investigate him. By the way there is at least one club for gay men because gay people exist. Isn’t that nice?) -- source link