badlidlbrother: spanko70:nct1601: Playing house. Just an excuse for girls to talk boys out of the
badlidlbrother: spanko70: nct1601: Playing house. Just an excuse for girls to talk boys out of their clothes and spank them. I would play House with my cousins when we were young And as my older sister’s friend told me “so, I asked your mom if I could babysit you. Your sister told me she spanks you, so we decided a plan so I would get the chance. Now, I will get the fun and even be paid for it,snicker.” Part of what I love and hate about this picture is that it isn’t perfect. It is like iconography that was always a little unrealistic so that the worshipper wouldn’t forget to worship through the image instead of the image itself. Slight distortions were intentional lest the simple become confused.This image feels the same way to me. Standing on its own, the image feels distorted, unsatisfying, and somehow impossible. Rather, it draws me back to a time and place without supplanting the memories. Feelings are awakened and the past remembered. My entire adult life has been plagued with memories of moments like this or almost like this. Moments that usually didn’t fully materialize or ended too soon. Moments when I got scared, ran away, or otherwise called off the game. And then suddenly, the moments stopped happening. I fell deep into puberty and wasn’t a child anymore. I wanted the moments to happen and some did but they were more often accompanied by feelings of guilt and confusion. I tried to create opportunity but felt bad when I would ‘have an idea’ about the game the girls and I should play. It was better when they had the idea but they were at the age where I think they were being taught boys were supposed to be the relationship initiators. I was thrust into a place where I had to be vulnerable as the initiator instigating play where I was to be submissive. It was too much for my pre-teen mind to navigate.Simultaneously, the threats of spankings from my mother during this formative time fueled my fear of the real thing. The opposites of the spanking games with the little girls and the fear of an actual spanking from mom kept me in a state of almost perpetual aroused anguish in my adolescence. It continues to rage today. -- source link