Gravel Citymc mf ff humorwords: 4360 JeremiahChance rubbed his temples. He hated Tues
Gravel Citymc mf ff humorwords: 4360 JeremiahChance rubbed his temples. He hated Tuesdays. Asmayor of Gravel City, he had often considered banning Tuesdays, but reviewingthe city charter had so far suggested he didn’t have the authority. He had ateam of lawyers, clerks and dwarves looking for a loophole, but they hadn’tfound anything yet. Hesat back in his plush chair and glanced at the ‘Man of the Year’ trophy sittingon his desk. He sighed, then lifted his mug of coffee and took a swallow.Chance paused, then looked at the mug sadly and shook his head. He hit thebutton on his desk intercom.“Erin?” he said. “This coffeesucks.” Theintercom crackled. “Yes, sir,” said Erin, his secretary and all-around girlFriday. “I know. It’s decaf. The delivery truck hasn’t shown up today.” MayorChance sighed and rubbed his temples again. Tuesdays. Hepushed away the offending beverage and shuffled through the daily reports. Theworld domination special interest lobbyists were petitioning for ‘madscientist’ to be recognized as a legitimate profession. Gravel City High Schoolhad been closed down for the day because some practical joker had bimbofied themath department. Traffic was gridlocked at Main and First Street due to theleather-bound six-and-a-half-foot tall dominatrix being worshipped in themiddle of the intersection. Justanother day in Gravel City. Theintercom squawked. “Hey, boss,” said Erin. “Your first appointment of the dayis here.” “Allright, Erin,” said Chance. “Who is it?” “ShirleyCompton from the Department of Stepford Wives.” “Fine,”said Chance. “Send her in.” Aminute later his door opened. A smartly dressed black woman entered, followedby three young, fashionably dressed women with eerily similar features andsmiles. MayorChance sat back in his chair. “Good morning, Miss Compton,” he said. “Who areyour friends?” Theblack woman replied, “Ashley, Britney and Chloe.” Thethree women replied in unison, “Good morning, Mayor Chance.” Chancenodded. “That’s pretty disturbing,” he said. “Please don’t do that again.” Heturned to the waiting Shirley Compton. “And what can I do for you this morning,Miss Compton?” “Youknow why I’m here, Jeremiah,” said Miss Compton. “We want representatives onthe Urban Planning Committee.” “Soundslike a great idea,” said Chance. “I’ll think about it.” “That’swhat you said last time I was here, Jeremiah.” “Well,I’m still thinking about it,” said Chance. “You’restalling, Jeremiah,” said Compton. “Yes,I am,” said Chance. “The last time I said yes to that request, you and yourneophytes created the scariest P.T.A. the world has ever seen.” “Wewere efficient, Jeremiah,” said Compton. “They simply weren’t ready fora P.T.A. that didn’t just sit around baking cookies.” “I’llagree with you there,” said Chance. “Even the local Hell’s Angels participatedin the bake sales, because they were afraid not to.” “Welove cookies,” said Ashley, Britney and Chloe in unison. Chanceeyelid flickered. “Could you please tell your sidekicks to stop the creepychoir-of-angels interjections?” “We’resorry, Mayor Chance,” intoned all three. Chanceclosed his eyes and sighed. Comptoncrossed her arms and glared at Chance. “Well?” “Itold you, Shirley,” he said. “I’ll think about it.” Comptonstared at the mayor with hard, dark eyes. Then she leaned forward. “Do you knowwhat you need, Jeremiah?” Chancestared back. “What would that be, Shirley?” “Awife,” she said. Then she stood and turned for the door, a flick of herwrist summoning Ashley, Britney and Chloe to follow her. “This isn’t over,Jeremiah.” “I’veno doubt, Shirley,” he said, but they were already gone. Enjoyingthe momentary quiet, Chance reached for his coffee mug. Then he remembered. Hehit the intercom button instead. “Erin,has the coffee arrived yet?” Theintercom squawked. “No, Mr. Mayor.” “Ofcourse,” he said. “No surprise, really. It’s Tuesday, you know.” “Ibeg your pardon, sir?” “Nothing.So that’s my last meeting for the day, right?” Somethingthat sounded like muffled laughter emerged from the speaker. Then “Um, no sir.In fact, it’s time for your next meeting. The Engineering Factionrepresentatives are here.” “TheGeek Squad?” said Chance. He glared at his coffee mug. “Of course. Why not?” “Sir?” “Nothing.Send ‘em in.” Thedoor opened and three thin men of varying heights but similar pocket protectorsentered. All three sat down in front of the mayor’s desk. Chancenodded at them. “Orville, Irving, Melvin. Good morning, gentlemen. What can Ido for you?” Theone in the middle leaned forward and spoke. “We’re here to set up the contract,sir.” Themayor’s eyebrows rose. “Contract? What contract are you talking about,Orville?” “Thecontract you’re going to sign when you finally realize how much money you’llsave by letting my colleagues and I automate your workforce for you.” Chancelooked closely at Orville. Then he sighed. “You’ve been reading one of thoseconfidence rah-rah books again, haven’t you? Which one is it this time?” Orvillebeamed. ”How to Win Friends and Vaporize Your Enemies.” “Isee,” said Chance. “Good choice. Sounds like a Pulitzer waiting to happen.” “Oh,gosh, yes!” said Orville. “It’s the literary equivalent of tearing out a man’sheart and showing it to him before he dies.” Oneof the geeks elbowed Orville. “Right,”said Orville. “Back to business. You’re having budget issues. You alwayshave budget issues. We’re here to help. All we need is a state-of-the-art laband a hundred tons of titanium. And a couple hundred plutonium batteries. Andsome…” “Ididn’t quite catch that last part,” said Chance. “You were mumbling.” “Justsome…” “You’restill mumbling,” said Chance, “but it sounds like you’re saying something aboutmounted laser-guided missiles.” Orvilleshrugged. “IfI was the paranoid type,” said Chance, “I’d be tempted to say that sounds morelike a death robot army than an automated crew of city workers.” Orvilleshrugged again and spread his hands. “To-may-toe, to-mah-toe…” “Well,sorry to disappoint you,” said Chance, “but I have constituents convincedSkynet is taking over my office just because I got an automated coffee-maker.Pretty sure they’d balk at my own death robot army.” Orvilleleaped to his feet, his face mottled. ”That..is…INSULTING…!” “Huh?”said Chance, baffled in the face of sudden nerd rage. “Skynetwould never stoop to making coffee for anyone! Not even the mayor!” “Rightyou are,” said Chance. “Well, I’m glad we had a chance to have this littlechat. I’m really busy today, so if you gentlemen don’t mind…?” “Okay,Mr. Mayor,” said Orville, “I can see where a ground floor approach might be abit too much for you right now. I can understand that. So if you could just seeyour way to giving us a small grant to fund some research into-“ “Stopright there,” said Chance, holding up a hand, “if the rest of your sentence hasanything at all to do with time travel.” Therewas complete silence for several seconds. Then Orville said, “But sir, thecost-to-benefit analysis for a flux capacitor indicates a potentialparadigm-shift which could result in-“ Chanceheld up his index finger and moved it side-to-side. “No.” “But…!” “No.” “But…!” “Youshould go now,” said Chance. “We’ll talk again. Say fifty years from now? Andonly if you bring coffee.” Orvillelooked at Chance with sudden interest. “Coffee, you say? We’ve made someadvances in that area, you know. Our beans are far more efficient than anythingmarket-driven. Early data indicates the caffeine content levels out at 247% ofthe typical robusta coffee bean-“ “Stop,”said Chance. “We’ll pick this up later, okay? Shortly after Hell freez- wait.247%, you say…?” Orvillebeamed. “Oh, yes. Our patent-pending process uses lasers to separate the-“ Theintercom suddenly squawked. “Sir? Councilwoman Meredith Miles is here to seeyou.” Chanceglared at the intercom. “What does the witch want?” “Youshouldn’t call her that, sir.” “Whynot?” said Chance. “it’s the truth. In fact, I should say it more often.” “Youshouldn’t call her that because she’s standing right next to me.” “Right,”said Chance. “Of course she is. Tuesday. Hello, Meredith. We’ll keep this shortin case you double-parked your broom.” Meredith’svoice crackled from the intercom. “You’re funny, Chance. Hysterical. I can’twait to replace you as mayor. I’m here for our meeting.” “Fine,”said Chance. “Let’s get this over with. Erin?” “Yes,sir?” “Anyupdate on the coffee delivery?” “No,sir.” “Fuck.”***** “Mr.Mayor,” said Meredith Miles, “you are rude, abrasive, inefficient, vulgar,uncouth and have all the leadership abilities of a potato.” Chance’ssecretary had brought him a fresh cup of the horrid beverage, even though hehadn’t asked for it. Chance assumed Erin was mad at him for something. Taking aswallow of the evil brew, he looked at the councilwoman and said, “Baked or augratin?” Beingthe top councilperson didn’t stop Meredith from being attractive, and she wasaware of that fact. She chuckled. “Baked, Mr. Mayor. You are definitely baked.Your arrogance is matched only by your incompetence.” Chancesmiled and leaned back in his chair. “So did you have something you actuallywanted to discuss or did you come here just to insult me?” “I’mnot like you, Mr. Mayor,” said Meredith. “I’m efficient. I can do both.” Chancemused. “I should ask you to leave,” he said finally, “but this is the mostnormal conversation I’ve had all day. Coffee?” Meredithpaused for a moment, then said, “That’s the first thing you’ve ever said to methat we can agree on.” Chanceoffered a beatific smile and pushed the button on the intercom. “Erin? Pleasebring Miss Miles a cup of coffee.” Therewas silence for a moment. Then the intercom squawked again. “Coffee for MissMiles? Are you sure, sir? After all-“ “Yes,”interjected Chance. “Yes, I’m sure. Please bring Councilwoman Miles a cup ofcoffee.” “Yes,sir.” Chanceturned back to Meredith. “You were saying?” “Iam here on behalf of the citizens of this great metropolis, Mr. Mayor,” saidMeredith. “You are doing them a grave disservice. It’s time for you to stepdown and let someone with vision run this city.” “Metropolis…?” Meredithsmiled. “Perhaps a trifle overstated, but I have grand plans.” Erinentered the office. She set a mug in front of Meredith, then turned and leftthe office. Chancefought off a malicious smile. “Grand plans?” “Yes,”said Mededith, taking a swallow of the coffee. She opened her mouth to speak,then suddenly shuddered. “This is…this is vile.” “Yes,”said Chance, nodding. “Decaf. The truck is MIA.” “You’rea horrible man.” Chanceshrugged. “Hey, you came at me. Consider it self-defense.” “Myrevenge upon you will be sweet.” Chancestared curiously. “You’re still drinking it.” Meredithdrained the mug in one long swallow, then directed an evil smile toward Chance.“It builds character.” Chanceblinked, impressed. “Sooo, grand plans. I assume that’s why you recentlylaunched your smear campaign against me? Because I’m standing in your way?” “Yougot it in one, Mr. Mayor.” “Gladto hear it,” said Chance. “I was starting to think you really did believe I didthose things to animals.” “Perhapsyou do,” said Meredith, a malevolent smirk on her face. “I would never presumeto judge your love life. That’s for the voters to decide.” “Andthe claims that I’m farming orphans to incubate alien eggs?” “Who’sto say you don’t?” “AndI’m running an after-hours nun prostitution ring? Seriously?” Meredithshrugged. “You wouldn’t believe what my sources say you do with theblessed oil.” “C’mon,Meredith,” said Chance. “Even the Chrystal Heights Underline wasn’t buying it.Well, not much, anyway.” “Perhaps,”said Meredith, “but that rag still printed it.” “True,”mused Chance. “Still, they’re not exactly considered the peak of journalisticintegrity.” “Thestory doesn’t need to be true, Chance,” said Meredith. “It only needs to plantthe seed of doubt. For an intelligent man, Mr. Mayor- and yes, I admit you’reintelligent- you have a surprising lack of political survival skills.” Therewas a sudden knock and the office door opened. Erin walked in. “Sorryto disturb you, Mr. Mayor,” said the secretary, “but this was sent over by theEngineering Faction.” She held out what appeared to be a largeover-engineered thermos. Chancehesitated for a moment, then reached out and took it from Erin. “Thank you.” Erinturned and walked out, closing the door behind her. Chanceunscrewed the thermos and took an experimental whiff. Then his eyes widened.“Well, Meredith, I’m glad we had a chance to have this little chat. Stop byErin’s desk on your way out to set an appointment for you to abuse me againnext week.” Sheleaned forward. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily, Chance! Yourineptitude is driving this city into the ground. Just turn it over to me. Justdo it. Let it go.” Chancedumped his coffee into a potted plant. Then he filled the mug with fluid fromthe thermos. “I’ll pass,” he said. “But feel free to bring it up again nextweek.” “I’mserious, Chance!” said Meredith, through clenched teeth. “I’m giving you achance to get out gracefully now! If you force my hand, I’m going to become reallyunpleasant. Chancetook a deep swallow from his mug. His expression became dreamy. “Those geeks,”he said. “Those wonderful, wonderful geeks.” “Mr.Mayor!” said Meredith. “Don’t you dare ignore me…!” “Iwouldn’t dream of it,” said Chance. “Did you know there’s a vein on yourforehead that bulges when you’re angry?” “Damnyou, Jeremiah!” said Meredith, jumping to her feet and hurtling her mug atChance. “You are such a…such a…such a man!” Chancelooked down at the brown spot where the mug had struck his chest. Dregs ofcoffee had stained his shirt. He looked at Meredith. “Andyou, Meredith,” said Chance pleasantly, “can go fuck yourself.” Meredithopened her mouth to reply, but suddenly went silent. A strange look crossed herattractive features. Then she grabbed the ‘Man of the Year’ trophy off Chance’sdesk. A moment later, she pulled the hem of her skirt up to her waist, slid theman-shaped trophy inside her vagina and began sliding the trophy back-and-forthinside her. Chancestared at Meredith, awed at his own success. “Councilwoman? What…what are youdoing?” He thought for a moment, then added, “Besides the obvious, I mean.” Meredithcontinued to work the trophy back-and-forth inside her, her hips bucking, mutedsounds of heated pleasure filling the office. Chancetook another swallow of coffee as he pondered the situation. Of all directionshe had thought this meeting might take, this one hadn’t occurred to him. Atleast not the trophy part. Short-sighted of him, he decided belatedly. Andthen he realized what she was doing. “Meredith,”he said, “stop fucking yourself.” Andthe trophy stopped. Abeaming, beatific smile slowly formed on Chance’s face. “Meredith,”said Chance, “unbutton your blouse.” Meredith’shands moved to her blouse, her fingers undoing the buttons one-by-one. Theblouse slowly parted from the top, exposing her healthy cleavage. The finalbutton was undone, allowing her blouse to fall open, her flat belly andgenerous bosom on full display. “Removeyour blouse,” said Chance, “and then your bra.” Momentslater, the councilwoman stood topless in front of Chance’s desk. Chancereached for his phone.***** Erinentered the office some time later. She came to a complete stop as she realizedthree things. Thefirst thing she realized was that councilwoman Meredith Miles was naked. Thesecond thing was that the attractive councilwoman was performing a very eroticdance in front of Mayor Chance’s desk. And the third thing Erin realizedwas that she very much liked what she saw.Still seated at his desk, Chancelooked at his secretary and smiled. “As you can see, the councilwoman and Ihave worked out our differences.”Erin bit her lower lip, her eyeson the rolling bare hips of the dancing councilwoman. “It appears so, sir.”Chance stood and walked toward thedoor. “Do me a favor, please,” he said. “Keep an eye on her for a minute. Beher audience until I get back.”Meredith continued gyrating, herarms above her head, breasts thrust forward. Her hips writhed to the musiccoming from Chance’s computer, her bare feet whispering over the carpetedfloor. Her eyes were closed, her lips pouting. It was hot, sensuous dancing,and her nipples were hard.Erin nodded. “I’m on it, sir.”Chance watched the scene foranother few seconds, then nodded. “Glad to hear it.”And then he was out the door.***** Satisfiedthat Erin would remain in place for the time being, Chance moved toward thereception area. He had to perform an unpleasant task and he didn’t want anaudience while he was doing so. Chancewas rarely in this area, as he had his own office. This was Erin’s domain. Erinran a tight ship and kept everything very organized. He glanced around,checking for anything different, anything unusual. Nothing.Chance sighed. He was going to have to do this the hard way. Hebegan going through drawers and opening cabinets. The longer his searchcontinued, the more hopeful Chance became that he wouldn’t find what he wasafraid he was going to find. And then he found it.Chance sighed. He had just yankedopen the bottom drawer of a rarely-used file cabinet. Looking down, he foundhimself staring at numerous packages of coffee. His coffee. His normal,everyday, caffeinated coffee.Erin had lied to him. He wasn’tout of coffee. There was no late truck delivery. Erin was deliberatelywithholding his java.And Chance knew why. Erin had betrayed him. It was timefor a reckoning.***** Chancewalked into the office without knocking. “Allright, Erin,” he said, “it’s time for us to have a little-“ Erinjumped away from the still-naked Meredith, blushing brightly. She looked awayguiltily. “Oh,gawd,” said Erin. “I’m sorry! You were just gone so long! I was just…I mean…Iwas just…I was…” Chance chuckled, then waved his hand. “Don’tworry about it,” he said. “Just do me one favor, okay?” Stillblushing, Erin nodded. Chancepoured a shot of coffee from the thermos. “Drink this.” Cheeksred, Erin took the cup from Chance and drank the shot. She gasped. “Omigod,”she said. “That’s…that’s…” “Powerful,”said Chance. “I know. I can hear your heart racing from here.” Erinblinked, clutching her chest. “Will I live?” Chancechuckled. “Yes,” he said. “You’ll be fine. And you might find that you’re notso anxious to give me decaf coffee anymore.” Erin’scheeks grew even brighter. “Don’tworry about it for now, okay?” Chance said, “I’m going to fix everything. Butwe’re going to stay away from coffee for right now. Go make a pitcher of icedtea and bring it in here, okay?” Erinscurried out of the room. Chance turned to Meredith Miles. “Okay,Meredith,” he said. “You can get dressed now. Put your clothes on and leave. Onyour way out, stop by my secretary’s desk and set up a dinner date with her.Afterward, take her home and pick up from where you left off here. Now getgoing. ” Meredithblinked, her features still fixed in a dreamy expression. She gathered her clothesand dressed. Moments later she was out the door. Alonein his office once more, Chance leaned back and closed his eyes. All he coulddo now was wait.***** Sometime later, his office door opened. Chancelooked up. Then he smiled. “Good afternoon,” he said. “I don’t recall youhaving an afternoon appointment as well.” ShirleyCompton smiled. Her three blonde assistants filed in behind her. Shirley said, “Hello again,Jeremiah.” Ashley,Britney and Chloe said in unison, “Good afternoon, Mayor Chance.” Chancesighed. “I really wish they wouldn’t do that.” Shirleyshrugged. “It’s empowering.” “I’veno doubt,” said Chance. “Would you like some iced tea? It’s terribly sweet. I’doffer you coffee, but we’ve had some supply-and-demand issues today.” “I’msorry to hear that, Jeremiah,” said Compton. “Some iced tea would be nice.” “Sotell me,” said Chance, pouring out four glasses of iced tea and handing them tohis guests, “to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected meeting? As Irecall, our meeting this morning ended with you wishing a…a wife uponme.” Shirleytook a swallow of her beverage. Then she said, “And I meant it, Jeremiah. Ithink a wife would do you good.” Chancechuckled. “I doubt the woman exists who could put up with me as their husband.” Shirleysmiled, her attractive mocha features almost glowing. “I don’t think you giveyourself enough credit, Jeremiah. But I’m willing to help. In fact, don’t youagree it would be a good idea to let me help you find a wife, Jeremiah?” Thefour women set their now-empty glasses on Chance’s desk. Chance’seyes narrowed. Then he chuckled. “So that’s it,” he said. “That’s what you’reafter. You’re trying to get me married to one of your flunkies.” Shirley’ssmile was suddenly a dangerous, sinister thing. “Of course, Jeremiah,” shesaid. “A dutiful wife to keep you good and dosed with our specially-brewedcoffee.” Chancenodded. “That horrible stuff you’ve had Erin pouring into me all day.” “Soyou already figured it out?” said Shirley. “Perhaps you’re not as foolish asyou look after all. No matter, though. It’s already in your system. You’re oursto command now, Jeremiah. Just like your secretary.” Chanceleaned back and put his feet on the desk. “I’m not one to knock a cleverpower-grab, Shirley,” he said, “but seriously…did you have to make it sorevolting? I mean, disguising it as decaf coffee? For a group that specializesin baking delicious goodies, you suck at making mind-control serums.” “Yourarrogance is misplaced, Jeremiah,” said Shirley. “You speak as if you could dobetter.” “MaybeI could do better,” said Chance. “Did you enjoy your tea?” Shirleypaused. Then she, Ashley, Britney and Chloe looked down at the empty glasses onChance’s desk. “Itwasn’t a bad idea overall,” said Chance. “It might have even worked, except forone thing. It turns out that a certain potent, over-engineered coffee can wipeout the effects of your mind-control serum.” Thefour women from the Department of Stepford Wives started to slowly back towardthe door. Chance smiled pleasantly and said, “Stay where you are.” Shirley,Ashley, Britney and Chloe froze, suddenly unable to move. Chanceremained sitting, his legs crossed at the ankles, his feet still on the desk. “Ihave some guests that will be here shortly,” said Chance, “and when they gethere, I expect you to treat them with a certain amount of courtesy anddecorum.” Hethen went into some detail about the exact level of decorum expected. He spokefor some time. Eventuallythe intercom crackled. “Sir,” said Erin, “the rest of your guests are here.” “Excellent,”said Chance. “Send them in, please.” Momentslater the office door opened again and Orville, Irving and Melvin filed in. “Goodafternoon, gentlemen,” said Chance. “Thank you for showing up on short notice.I think, however, you’ll find it worth your time.” “Noproblem, Mr. Mayor,” said Orville. “I take it you found it satisfactory?” “Idid indeed, Orville,” said Chance. “It’s able to neutralize a number ofchemical mind-control properties and it’s highly caffeinated as well. I believewe can work out a contract that will benefit both parties.” Orville beamed. “That’s good news, Mr. Mayor!” “Wecan squat on the horse blankets and knock out details tomorrow,” said Chance.“For today, though, as a sign of good faith…” Chancelooked at Ashley, Britney and Chloe. “All right, ladies,” he said. “Time foryou to show these boys how grateful the mayor’s office is for their services.” ShirleyCompton’s three blonde assistants suddenly began pressing themselves againstOrville, Irving and Melvin, their hands roving in a manner that caused thegeeks to stammer and stutter, as well as springing erections so quickly thatthree muted sonic booms occurred. The blonde women led the giggling, snortinggeeks through the door, leaving the confused Shirley Compton alone in theoffice with Chance. Chancepressed the button on the intercom. “Clear my schedule for the rest of the day,Erin,” he said. “And then take the rest of the day off. After all, you have adate with Meredith Miles tonight, don’t you?” Erin’sgiggle sounded through the intercom. “Are you sure you’re okay with that, sir?I mean, she is trying to destroy you politically.” “Notanymore she isn’t,” said Chance. “It seems the video function of my cell phonewas working during her naked dance. Unless she wants to be a social media star,she’s going to leave me alone now.” “That’sgood news, sir!” said Erin. Then she said, “Wait…your cell phone was recordingher while she was dancing? The whole time she was dancing…?” “Havea nice date, Erin,” said Chance. He pushed the button and looked at ShirleyCompton. “Your turn.” ShirleyCompton glared at Chance. “This is so…just so unfair!” she said. “It was such agood idea! Months and months of planning down the drain! It’s not fair! It’snot right!” Chanceleaned back and casually smiled. “Yes,” he said, “I know. You will look backand see today as the day your plans were wrecked. A day of crushing defeat. Aday of embarrassment, of outright humiliation. A day when victory was so closeyou could taste it, a day when bitter loss defined your outcome.” “Yes,”said Compton, through clenched teeth, feeling herself move against her willtoward Chance, feeling herself drop to her knees, seeing her perfectlymanicured nails moving over Chance’s thighs, pulling down his zipper. Feelingher tongue moistening her lips against her will. “Yes! You can stop crowingabout it!” MayorJeremiah Chance took a deep swallow of the powerful geek coffee. “Today will bea day that defined your forward path. A day of destiny for you, if you will,”said Chance. “For me…it was Tuesday.”THE END -- source link