ekjohnston:quasi-normalcy:cheeseanonioncrisps:nonotimetoulouse: starryoak: tubofgoodthings: nonotime
ekjohnston:quasi-normalcy:cheeseanonioncrisps:nonotimetoulouse: starryoak: tubofgoodthings: nonotimetoulouse: It’s like every week something weird happens. I can’t even begin to imagine how many episodes would be improved just by Picard giving a stumbling, awkward exposition of the episode’s plot to the crew ALL episodes could be improved if we saw Picard’s awkward, stumbling exposition to the crew of what’s going on that episode. In fact, I really wanna see that. “Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. You may notice my voice sounds different, and uh, long story short, I’m 12 again. Another transporter thing, we should really get that looked at. Anywhooo if a little blonde kid starts ordering you around, don’t ignore him, because it’s me. Ok. Bye.” Petition for future series of Star Trek to replace the ‘Captain’s Log’ bits with the Captain making increasingly bizarre anouncements over the intercom explaining the events of the plot to the redshirts.“Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. Just letting everyone know that, earlier today, an extra-terrestrial probe inserted about half a centuries’ worth of memories into my brain, leading me to briefly believe that I was living a whole other life that felt as real to me as the one I’m living now. Then I woke up after what felt like decades— but was actually only a few minutes— to discover that my friends, my family and my culture not only no longer existed, but had never actually belonged to me in any real sense.“So… er, y'know, if I seem a little off over the next few days… that’s why.” “Attention crew; as you’ve probably noticed, the ship is being slowly transformed into an ancient, vaguely meso-American-ish alien temple; we’re working on ways to reverse it, but until then, just uh…sit tight and try not to ne converted into alien plant-life, haha–”“Warn them about Data!”“Oh yes, and if you see Lieutenant Commander Data roaming the halls in a kind of a mask…run.” I’ve been making a list of things the Enterprise Social Coordinator complains about every time Data gets a new hobby, but this is funnier. -- source link