haley-black21:3fluffies:haley-black21:3fluffies:“Take the fucking shield and your fucking daddy issu
haley-black21:3fluffies:haley-black21:3fluffies:“Take the fucking shield and your fucking daddy issues and fuck the hell off, Tony, while I take my friend whose arm you blasted off KNOWING he was Hydra’s brainwashed prisoner.”I want you to narrate Steve’s thoughts throughout Civil War. Well, in a nutshell…(warning, your narrator is not in the best of moods)…“WTF?!”“Oh shit!”“WTF you just say Rumlow?!”“Fuuuuuck!”“She prevented the bomb from blowing up a city block; you’re fucking welcome!”“Who the fuck are you?”“You want us to fucking WHAT?!”“Ross, kindly go fuck yourself - hang on, I have a message…fuck.”“Fuck my life, fuck the 21st century, fuck it all, Peggy, I wanna go home.”“Sharon fucking who?!”“Oh, fuck, terrorist attacked the U.N….hey, is that…FUUUUUCK!”“They are not fucking touching him before someone at least talks to him!”“Bucky, hi, long time no see, but we’re fucked if we can’t clear your name.”“You dudes are fucking with the wrong supersoldiers - who the fuck is the cat guy?!”“What do you mean he doesn’t get a fucking lawyer - and hey, who turned out the lights?!”“AND WHO TURNED ON THE WINTER SOLDIER?!”“Clearance for takeoff not…fucking…granted…ow!”“Buck, come on, snap out of it and throw me a bone! Who the hell is the UN hiring as shrinks these days?”“Sam, I will turn this VW around right now.”“WTF are you two smirking at?”“Tony, will you shut the fuck up and let me fucking explain? No? Gotta hear yourself talk for the remainder of your 36 hours? Fuck it - outta my way!”“Sorry, your highness, I’m not moving and I didn’t give a fuck the first time!”“Vision, YOU are fucking paying for that control tower - thanks, Wanda!”“AND, it’s Nat. We’re screwed - no, I’m not fucking stopping, what part of FIVE MORE WINTER SOLDIERS didn’t you understand?! Oh, you did understand. Kthxbye!”“Whatever happens to my friends, I’ll deal with it (and fuck some shit up.)”“So…a truce, Tony? Great, let’s get to the bottom of this! Oh, here he is, the terrorist who went to a lot of trouble to get us all here but bumped off all the other Soldiers…Tony? Tony? I think this might be exactly what he was aiming for?”“And as usual, the only voice Tony hears is his own. Bucky, beat it while I tackle him - again!”“So you’ve shot me, you’ve shot Sam, you’ve blown Bucky’s arm off then shot him IN THE BACK - now you kick him in the face when the most he can do is grab your ankle?! Fuck. You. Stark. Time to power down!”[insert caption to previous picture]EPILOGUE…“Dear Tony, despite you setting a new low bar for douchebaggery, I am sorry I didn’t tell you Arnim Zola’s artificial intelligence hinted the Winter Soldier (who I had no idea was Bucky at the time) might’ve had something to do with your dad’s death 30 seconds before Nat and I had to improvise a bomb shelter and go on the run. Priorities, some of us has them. Still, because I’m a much bigger person, I’ll apologize now that there’s no chance of you getting your grubby iron paws on my brainwashed, traumatized POW best friend and let you know I’ll always be here for you. (Not that it makes any difference, since you’ll still be manpaining and hemming and hawing when the next apocalypse is nigh, but maybe we’ll get lucky and someone with a better sense of perspective will pick this phone up.). See you next time you feel like bawling over your iron manpain like you’re the only one in this cinematic universe with PTSD. Peace out (and fuck you), Steve RogersLmaooooo you’re my hero!! I just about died reading this esp “sorry, your highness, I’m not moving and I didn’t give a fuck the first time!” That just cracked me up XDI just figured by that point Steve is simply over all the goons scapegoating Bucky and trying to kill him while Steve’s busy trying to save the world from a supersoldier death squad. XD -- source link