thediaperedandthedamned: With the recent news headlines and growing response, I’ve been thinking a l
thediaperedandthedamned: With the recent news headlines and growing response, I’ve been thinking a lot over the last week about my own experiences. I’ve been struggling with the desire to share in this conversation, but not feeling comfortable in posting on my vanilla social media accounts. I want to share my story, especially in how it relates to the abdl/cgl kink, and eventually lead me to embrace the ABDL and kink community. I was sexually abused when I was a child and teenager by two different men which eventually also led to rape. Living through this in my formative years definitely shaped who I am today. I never had the chance to live a “normal” childhood. Being abused, I was forced to grow up way too soon. I was forced to try and protect myself, to try and hide what was happening because I felt that it was all my fault, and to try to live as normally as I could in this ever-darkening world of low self-worth, anxiety, and depression. Battling through this and coming out on the other side, I was both parts extremely mature and open-minded for my age but at times I would also subconsciously regress into what I pictured as a safe, fun childhood. Only later did I recognize it as what the ABDL and ageplay communities call Little Space. In the beginning of the kink relationship between my husband and I (he being the DL and me being clueless about the lifestyle), he saw Little Space as a way in which I could regain some part of that lost childhood. Being able to finally trust someone and actually want to be in a vulnerable sexual position was life-changing for me. I was getting the nurturing that I craved since I was a child and I was finally starting to own my feminine sexuality. As our dynamic has grown and allowed me to explore both sides of power exchange, I finally found trust and freedom in a sexual relationship. Our bond became closer than ever as he helped me to work through things that I thought I resolved years ago in therapy. I don’t think I could ever explain to him what he has done for me and this is why I feel so strongly in sharing our perspective and being an advocate for this lifestyle. At the end of the day, I still have PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and sometimes struggle with depression. On the road to healing, I found friends that I could trust, a school guidance counselor who became my voice and my advocate, and later I found a boy with passionate eyes, gentle hands and a kind soul. A boy who became my heart and my champion. I still have nightmares and sometimes have days where I can’t leave the house because I’m a ball of anxiety. But I never would have gained back my confidence, my self-esteem, and my openness to trust and to love without my husband. If you are a #metoo, please reach out and ask for support. I know you have it in you even though you might not know it yourself. If you suspect someone of being a #metoo, say something and be there to listen. And if you are lucky enough not to be or to know a #metoo, please remember that there are countless people out there silently dealing with these terrible and terrifying issues. Interact with words of love and respect, that person could be a #metoo too… -Lola Someone will listen. If you can’t find them, speak up. But you do t ever have to suffer alone.Trauma, especially sexual, can wreck a victims life. Doubt, insecurity, and lots of confusion.But for me, knowing I wasn’t alone was the start to my recovery. The more accepted I felt in all parts of my life, the better I was able to cope. -- source link